Page 12 of The Lottery Win
‘Krystle,’ he says warningly, but he’s grinning because heknows I’m joking.
I’m not joking about taking myself out, though. How can heexpect me to chill at home when I have thousands in the bank? I want toparty!
But all the time I’m being bubbly and fun with Adam, there’sa big boulder of dread sitting beneath my ribs and I feel quite sick. I know mytalk of partying is purely a distraction – so I have something to think about...something to look forward to after this afternoon.
Because this afternoon is when I’m going to confront Apriland pay back the loan. And get her off my back for good...
*****
I’m at home feeling really twitchy at the prospect offacing April when the phone rings.
At first, I don’t recognise the voice asking how the hell Iam. Then I realise. It’s Ryan, my cheating ex-fiancé.
At once, my head is in a whirl. Last time I saw Ryan, I toldhim I never wanted to see him ever again and he said that was fine by him andstormed off. We’d been madly in love for a couple of years – at least, that’swhat I’d thought – but then a week before the wedding, it all went wrong,thanks to him. He claimed it was ‘only’ a stupid drunken kiss at the stagparty. And maybe I would have forgiven him for that – except that the girl he’dshared this passionate interlude with was none other than Kerry, one of mysoon-to-be bridesmaids.
I was completely devastated by this double betrayal, but I‘coped’ with it by going out, drinking cocktails, and snogging some random guyin the pub. I know that probably wasn’t the best way to deal with the pain –but at the time, it seemed like the only thing to do... tomake Ryan hurt the way I was hurting.
A total shambles on both sides, I know.
When it all kicked off, I played it down and told everyoneour broken engagement was a mutual decision because I was embarrassed by howwe’d both behaved. Even Carrie doesn’t know the full story of Ryan’s betrayal.
But now here he is, on the other end of the phone, trying tosay that he’s been a fool to cock things up and he’s spent the past few yearsregretting it.
‘Ryan, what’s the point? I’ve moved on. No, of course Idon’t want to meet you for a catch-up drink.’
‘Okay. That’s fine. It’s just I was sitting here,remembering the good times. That’s all. I just wanted to hear your voice.’
‘Fine. Well, you’ve heard it. Now you can bugger off, backto your life without me, okay?’
‘Okay.’
He sounds thoroughly defeated and I feel a little guilty forbeing so abrupt.
‘That doesn’t mean I don’t wish you well,’ I murmur. ‘Whatwe had was... good. Really good.’
‘It was. And it’s just not the same without you, Krystle. I’vemissed you. Far more than I thought I would.’
Despite everything that happened, I feel a pang of stupidlonging. I really loved Ryan. And if we’d talked at the time about our badbehaviour, maybe we’d have stayed together. But Ryan never liked talking aboutfeelings so we never did. He just walked away after I told him aboutmydrunken kiss, unable to handle it, and that was that.
But now here he is sounding quite emotional and saying he’smissed me. (This from the guy who only ever admitted he loved me when he’doverdone the whisky chasers.) It doesn’t sound like the cocky Ryan I knew ofold. Maybe he’s matured...
‘I just thought we could be friends,’ he’s saying. ‘But hey,don’t worry. I understand. Take care of yourself, Krystle.’
When Carrie phones me a bit later, I mention that Ryan’sbeen in touch, wanting to catch up.
‘What?’ She groans. ‘Krystle, please tell me you’re notgoing to meet up with him.’
I hesitate, taken aback by her reaction. ‘Well, no, ofcourse I won’t. I was just telling you.’
‘Good. Because it’s so obvious he’s found out about the lotterywin.’
‘What?’ My head swims in confusion. ‘But how could he know? Ihaven’t told anyone. Haveyoutold anyone you’re splitting your winningswith me?’
‘No. I haven’t mentioned the win to anyone, apart from Mumand Dad, as we agreed.’
‘Well, how could Ryan have found out, then?’ I ask,exasperated. ‘Honestly, Carrie, why do you have to be so suspicious of everyoneall the time? It must be an awful drag, living like that.’
She sighs. ‘I’m only looking out for you.’
