Page 7 of The Lottery Win
‘Carrie?’ I say loudly, starting to panic because she’sfading in and out. ‘You’ll have to take a photo of the cashpoint with all thatmoney in it.’
‘I will. Oh, Krystle, I think I’m still in shock. I justcan’t... but maybe we could... tomorrow...what do you think?’
‘Carrie, you’re breaking up,’ I shout. But it’s no use.She’s gone.
*****
My head is whirling.
Carrie and Ronan have done it! They’ve actually done it. They’vewon the lottery!
Despite all the bad things going on in my life, as I liethere staring up into the darkness, joyful laughter bursts out of me.
I’m thrilled for them. Carrie so deserves this. She’s such acaring person, always putting others first, but now she’ll be able to treatherself a little. Well, not just a little – a lot! It means that she and Ronancan make plans for their future straight away, instead of being sensible andwaiting until they’ve saved up. They’ll be able to buy a house with plenty of spacefor a family, and the money will take a little pressure off Ronan, who worksextremely hard. His job as a tree surgeon means he can be called out at anytime of the day or night, and he’s often working at weekends. But maybe they’llbe able to hire some staff now to take some of the load, then they’ll have morefree time to spend together...
A single tear trickles into my hair.
I honestly couldn’t be happier for them. So why is therethis weight inside me, dragging me down?
Am I jealous of my own sister?
I turn onto my side and pull the covers up over my shoulder.I suppose I wouldn’t be human if I didn’t feel at least alittletwingeof envy at Carrie’s amazing news.
It was supposed to be me who was going to come into money. That’swhat the palm reader said. And now, more than ever – with the terror of whatwill happen to me if I can’t pay April on time – I desperately needed it tohappen.
I snort to myself. Serves me right for putting faith in a sillypalm reader.
Then something occurs to me.
I turn on my back, eyes wide open, my heart beating fasterat this sudden ray of light in the gloom.
Carrie will be able to lend me the money now.
Before, I’d have felt terrible even mentioning my problemsbecause I’d have known she’d be desperate to help me, even if she couldn’tafford it. But now, with the knowledge that she and Ronan will have more thantwo million pounds in the bank... it’s different.
If I borrow from Carrie, I’ll be able to get April out of mylife once and for all.
But next second, I’m imagining Carrie’s expression as I tellher about how April managed to con me. She’ll be full of dismay and anger atApril, and sympathy for me, of course. But I’ll see that flash of disbelief inher eyes, even if she tries not to show it – disbelief that I could be soutterly stupid as to be taken in by a stranger like that. The warnings aboutscammers are everywhere these days. But stupid, naïve Krystle just walkshappily into the trap without even a moment’s pause for thought.
Not that the shame of it would stop me asking for help. I’djust have to suck it up.
It would be disappointing Carrie that I couldn’t bear. Shewould try to hide it, of course, but I’d feel it – and I would deserve it, too.Right from being kids, Carrie has got me out of more scrapes than I can count. Andthe last thing I want is to put a damper on her lottery joy.
My problem is I tend not to think before I speak, and thatoften gets me into trouble. I’m a bit flighty. My head’s in the clouds, whileCarrie is the twin with the common sense.
Mum was always saying versions of this when we were younger.There was affection in her smile as she said it. She clearly had no idea of theeffect her throwaway remarks were having on me.
But her words have stuck.
Turning over on my side again, another tear soaks into thepillow. I can’t bear to tell Carrie that I’ve screwed up yet again.
So I won’t be asking her for a loan...
*****
I sleep badly and wake next morning with a head as heavyas a lump of lead.
Groaning, I open one eye and glance at the clock.Nearlyten?
