Page 34 of A Kiss under the Stars
And so I start at the beginning and tell him how our earlychildhood was happy but that when Dad lost his job, he went back to alcohol inorder to get him through the days of uncertainty. And how it changed theatmosphere in our happy home at Sycamore House to one of uncertainty and fear.
‘Dad became a different person when he was drinking, and itwas pretty constant. Mum would try to help him give up but he’d get mad at her fornagging him and they’d have huge rows where Mum would shout that she wasleaving him and she was never coming back. Dylan and I hated the arguing and wetried to stay out of the way as much as we could, and I suppose we became alittle gang of two.’ I smile sadly. ‘We could no longer rely on our parents, sowe relied on each other instead... looked after each other. Ithink Dylan was affected more than me. He’s such a sensitive person and hecouldn’t stand the endless rows, and the anger and the bitterness constantlysimmering and often erupting between our parents.’
I swallow hard and look down. ‘And then our dad died. Fromliver failure. He was ill for a long time but then he went downhill reallyquickly.’
‘I’m so sorry.’ Liam takes my hand and squeezes gently.‘That must have been terrible for you.’
I emit a shaky sigh. ‘It was. We adored our dad. Dylanespecially hero-worshipped him when he was little. I was fourteen and Dylanfifteen when he died and we were devastated. Mum... she had abreakdown. I didn’t know what was happening to her at the time, but I realisenow she just couldn’t cope.’ I look Liam in the eye. ‘One day, she just walkedout. And she never came back.’
Shock registers on his face. ‘How long ago was that?’
‘It was ten years ago last June. We lost Dad in the April andtwo months later, Mum left. She had her handbag with her but that was all. Shedidn’t even take her mobile phone – I guess because she didn’t want to befound.’
‘That’s... awful. Did you report herdisappearance to the police?’
I nod. ‘We did. But when they found out she’d threatened towalk out before on numerous occasions, they decided she’d left of her ownaccord so she wasn’t a missing person.’ I shrug. ‘So that was that.’
‘What happened to you and Dylan? You were only fourteen,right?’
‘We were taken into care,’ I tell him softly.
After that, we sit in silence for a while and he takes myhand again and keeps it there.
‘Dylan hated the care home. I made a few good friends so itwasn’t too bad for me, but Dylan was lost. I could see him almost fading awayin front of me, and it was terrifying. He was forced to leave the home when hewas eighteen, but that was a mixed blessing. I mean, what eighteen-year-oldwho’s been looked after in care is going to thrive being thrust out into theadult world with no coping skills. He was just a boy still.’
Liam nods slowly. ‘So what did he do?’
‘He went back to live at Sycamore House and luckily, hemanaged to get onto a local trainee accountancy scheme. If it hadn’t been forthat, giving some structure to his daily life, I don’t know what would havehappened to him. I saw him as much as I could but I couldn’t bring myself to goback to... this place. There were too many heart-breakingmemories and I wanted to just leave it all behind. But Dylan’s different. He’smore forgiving than me. He said we had to hold onto the house because it waswhere all our good memories were.’ I give a bitter laugh. ‘I suppose that’s thedifference between us. Dylan wanted to remember the good times but I justwanted to forget about our past as quickly as possible.’
Liam squeezes my hand gently. ‘I guess we all cope withtrauma in different ways.’
‘True.’
‘So was Dylan okay after that?’
I give a shaky sigh. ‘Not really. He found the accountancyexams hard and after a while, I realised he was drinking to cope with thestress of the job. It seemed as if he’d just passed one exam and then he washaving to study for the next, and being on his own in this big old house withno support must have been really hard. And then when I was eighteen, I left thecare home and I moved into a rented flat with my friend, Fiona, who left care afew months before me. That was a really fun time.’ I smile, remembering. ‘Wewere two young girls, free to live as we wanted, and each day seemed like anadventure back then. We both got jobs working in a call centre, which paid therent and bills, and left us with just enough cash to go out at weekends andhave lots of innocent fun!’ I sigh. ‘Good times.’
‘So what happened?’ he asks. ‘How did you end up living inBournemouth?’
‘Well, Dylan was getting gradually worse. When we arrangedto meet, nine times out of ten, he’d turn up late, smelling of alcohol andlooking a state. He was existing on take-aways and drinking to blot out thepain and the stress of exams. Miraculously, he managed to pass them all andqualify, but I knew he wasn’t looking after himself properly and eventually,after a year or two of me worrying about him almost constantly, I suggested weshould get a flat together. He agreed and said he’d start saving up for a deposit,and I was quite excited at the thought of having our own place to do up the waywe wanted.’ I grin sheepishly. ‘That’s when I did the plastering course.’
Liam gives me a knowing smile.
‘So anyway, I’d spotted this cheap flat at auction and I wasall excited. But then Dylan confessed that he hadn’t been saving at all. Iguess he’d been spending all his money on booze and take-aways. So that wasthat.’
‘So you rented a flat instead?’
I nod. ‘It wasn’t easy but once we were living together andI could keep an eye on him, I was able to help him get sober. And for a longtime, things were fine. He was working at the accountancy firm and he’d made afew friends there and life seemed to be looking up for him. But he knew Iwasn’t particularly happy working at the call centre. I’d been there threeyears by then, but my passion was baking fancy cakes, and I’d always had thisdream of one day being a pastry chef. Then one day Dylan showed me a brochurefor a cordon bleu cookery course in London. It was a two-year course and Icould specialise in pastry. So Dylan encouraged me to apply and I was accepted,and he helped me with my expenses.’
‘Fantastic. I’m assuming you passed with flying colours?’
I laugh. ‘Of course.’
‘So did you make that cheesecake you were offering meearlier?’
‘I did.’ I smile at him. ‘Would you like some now? It’swhite chocolate and raspberry. I assume you haven’t got a problem withraspberries?’
‘Iloveraspberries.’
