Page 46 of A Kiss under the Stars
By early evening, we’re all finished and the house islooking amazing – all bright and clean; a new place altogether, really – and Igive a little speech, thanking everyone for their tremendous hard work andannouncing that because they’ve all saved me money paying for a decorator, I’vedecided to donate a generous amount to Harlyn’s food bank.
Everyone claps and I find myself tearing up a little, lookingat all their smiling faces. I feel like I’m in an episode ofDIY SOS:The BigBuild! ‘And now can you all just kick back and relax please and helpyourselves to drinks in the garden? I’m sure you’re all ravenous, so I’ll beserving the chilli and rice in about fifteen minutes.’ I glance at Liam. ‘Can Iput you in charge of the music?’
‘Of course.’ He grins. ‘I thought we’d started with someclassics from the Eighties and Nineties to get the party started!’
Everyone wanders out onto the patio at the back, where Ellieand Zak have laid out a few of the café’s folding tables and chairs alongsidethe old garden furniture that was stored in the garage, and Fen and Maddy haveorganised a makeshift bar. The chilli goes down well and to my relief, there’s enoughto go around, and more besides. For afters, I’ve made two large apple pies,using fruit from the garden, served with ice-cream or double cream.
Maisie lolls on a rug on the grass, stroking Rolo’s ears.(Rolo is being very well-behaved and hardly begs for scraps at all, althoughhe’s having a jolly good sniff of everything and everybody.) Rose decides tojoin them on the rug, then has a fit of the giggles because Ellie and Zak haveto help her up a little while later.
As the light begins to fade, I bring out lots of candles,dotting them around the tables and all along the patio, and we sit around inthe soft glow, chatting, drinking cold beer and wine and singing along to someclassic songs. At one point, when ‘Macarena’ starts up, Krystle tries to persuadeeveryone to dance, so Primrose, Katja, Jen, Krystle and I kick off our shoesand move onto the lawn, dancing barefoot and making fools of ourselves for awhile which I thoroughly enjoy.
And then someone – Maddy, I think – demands that Liam givesus a song.
At first, he’s reluctant, holding up his hands, but then everyonestarts clapping and cheering, so of course, eventually, he’s forced to give in.
‘I usually like having a piano to hide behind,’ he mutters,smiling gamely but clearly more than a little embarrassed.
But when he starts to sing, everyone falls silent to listen.He has a beautiful tone and an impressive range. And I know I’m probablybiased, but his rendition of ‘Sweet Caroline’ is the best I’ve ever heard. Andit’s the perfect song to choose because absolutely everyone joins in with thechorus.
His audience shouts for more, so then Liam chooses a FrankSinatra number that I happen to love. When he starts singing ‘I’ve Got YouUnder My Skin’, a delicious shiver runs along my spine and to my surprise anddelight, he sings the entire song to me! I know he’s only playing to hisaudience – and he’d probably be singing to Nat if she was still here – but itmakes me feel all warm and tingly inside, especially when he pulls me up frommy seat and twirls me around as he sings.
Everyone applauds madly when the song ends and I plop backdown in my seat, unable to stop grinning. Looking around at all the happy,smiling faces, I feel a great sense of relief that after helping me in such anamazing way, everyone seems to have enjoyed themselves tonight. And when Liamasks me if I’ve decided about the radio interview, I’m in such a good mood, Iinstantly tell him I’ll do it.
Maisie yawns and Ellie says it’s high time they got her hometo bed, and at that point, everyone starts making a move to leave.
I watch Ellie guiding her mum, Rose, to the car. They stopsuddenly, laughing at something, and Rose leans over and cups her daughter’sface in her hands and plants a kiss on her lips. Ellie smiles and puts her armsaround her mum, hugging her tightly.
I watch them clinging together with a big lump in my throat.
It reminds me of how, when I was little, it was always Mum Iran to when I’d hurt myself falling off the swing or grazing my knees on thegravel driveway. Dad was the fun one. He made Dylan and me laugh by putting onfunny voices and acting the fool. But Mum was the provider of hugs and plasterswhen I was feeling sorry for myself. She’d make it all better with a kiss andher special treat – custard creams dipped into a mug of comforting hotchocolate.
My eyes are filling up out of nowhere. I shake my head,chuckling a little through the unexpected tears.
I haven’t thought about dunking those custard creams inyears.
*****
Later, when everyone’s gone home and I’m wandering aroundthe house marvelling at everything we managed to achieve today, I think aboutEllie and Rose... how close they are and how fortunate Roseis to have Ellie to help care for her. Ellie, too, is lucky. She has a mum whowas always there, supporting her – and now she’s able to show her gratitude andlove by being there, in turn, for Rose...
I sink down on the sofa, thinking about the unopened letterin my handbag.
Reaching for it, I look at the familiar handwriting on theenvelope for a moment, then I tear it open, take a breath and read thecontents.
My darling Lottie
I love you so much. I always have and I always will. But Iunderstand that words are cheap.
So I’m praying for the chance to be your mum again and to provemy love with actions. I long more than anything in the world to be the mum Ionce was. The mum you could always rely on.
If you don’t want that, I understand.
But I will never give up on the hope that one day, we can allbe together again.
All my love forever,
Mum
I put the letter down and stare at theceiling to try and stop the tears from falling. But it’s a hopeless task. Aloud sob erupts from deep inside as I grab some kitchen towel from the rollthat’s been left on the windowsill to mop my eyes and blow my nose.
