Page 55 of A Merry Little Christmas
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
It was seven o’clock on a dark and wintry Saturday evening and we were gearing up for another stab at Operation Chutney Grab – this time with the village hall in our sights.
Latest intelligence had revealed that jars of the condiment in question were being held in the village hall stock room, along with other donated goods that were destined to be sold at the WI event the following day.
We were about to resolve our Christmas pickle predicament once and for all.
It was the same elite squad as before, even Fen, who’d originally declared that her nerves couldn’t take another hazardous mission – plus she wasn’t about to missStrictly Come Dancingfor anything. But then at the last moment, she’d had a change of heart.
Maddy said it was because she didn’t want to miss out on the fun. Fen countered this by saying it would be easier this time and we wouldn’t be relying on Maddy dangling from the branch of a tree and encountering a thorny problem with her knicker elastic.
She was right, of course. Itwouldbe easier. Jaz was our mole on the inside, with a key to the back door, and she’d agreed to the plan.
We reasoned it would be fairly straightforward to enter by the back door. There were no security cameras and few passers-by to witness what was happening, and should we be challenged, Jaz was primed to explain that she’d returned to the hall to collect her sports bag which she’d left behind by mistake after her Zumba class that morning.
At the start, everything seemed to be going according to plan.
We assembled silently in the lane behind the village hall and made our way through the back yard.
Just as we got to the door, Fen said she thought she’d heard scuffles in the alleyway behind us. But on checking, there was no one there. So Jaz let us into the hall and we found the jars of chutney straight away, conveniently stored in two large cardboard boxes that had clearly been used by Ellie and Zak on removals day (one had ‘Maisie’s Bedroom’ scrawled on it in black marker pen and a second box had contained ‘Misc. Stuff’).
‘They’re sure to be missed,’ worried Fen. ‘These boxes of chutney, I mean.’
I looked around. ‘I very much doubt it. There’s so much in here.’ The stock room was indeed packed full of goods destined for the sale the next day.
‘We’re doing them a favour, taking them away,’ Jaz reminded her.
So we hefted up the boxes and congratulated each other on having saved Christmas.
‘This would make a great movie.’ Maddy grinned. ‘We’d have to be elves, of course. Or maybe a “sparkle” of fairy godmothers. That’s the collective noun for fairy godmothers, by the way.’
‘No, it’s not,’ laughed Jaz.
‘Well, it could be.’
We were all still chuckling as we let ourselves out into the back yard of the building.
And then Maddy balanced her box on the wall by the gate, whipped out her phone and said, ‘Okay. A selfie for the history books? The chutney heist team.’
‘Maddy? What on earth?’ I stared at her bemused as she ordered us into a group.
She grinned. ‘Shut up, Katja, and just get in the photo.’
We spent a comical moment getting the angle right and trying to suppress our giggles because you never knew who might be passing.
And then, amid the hilarity, an unfamiliar voice said, ‘Nicking stuff from the village hall are we, girls?Verynaughty!’
We all spun round.
And that’s when I realised to my dismay that we were no longer entirely alone in that backyard. Two boys of about eleven or twelve were now lounging against the wall by the gate grinning at us.
‘My dad’s a policeman. I could get him to arrest you. What do you think, Daz?’
‘You’re right, Macca. Stealing’s an offence. They could get eighteen months. You should definitely phone your dad,’ said the boy called Daz, and they both snorted with laughter.
‘We’re not stealing anything. Don’t be so ridiculous,’ snapped Maddy.
‘We’ve got a key,’ said Jaz, holding it up.
