Page 48 of A Merry Little Christmas
Richard’s betrayal had dented my heart and my confidence in relationships almost beyond repair. But I knew now that Caleb was nothing like Richard and it had been unfair of me to doubt him.
I needed to throw myself wholeheartedly into this relationship and embrace the future. Was Caleb my future? I hoped with all my heart that he was...
I called at the bakery in Lockley Meadow and picked up two coffees and some pastries, then I drove round to Caleb’s house, full of hope.
But that hope died as soon as I arrived and spotted Amanda’s car parked outside his house. The two of them were standing together at the open front door, apparently so engrossed in their chat they hadn’t even noticed my arrival.
I switched off the engine and waited there. Caleb was in his dressing gown but Amanda looked dressed for work, and when she leaned in and they hugged and she started walking away, I realised that was the tapping sound I’d heard on the phone earlier. Amanda’s heels walking across Caleb’s kitchen floor.
Was it really normal for an assistant to be so... familiar with their boss? Calling at his house and dispensing hugs every time they parted? Although to be fair, from what I’d seen, it had been Caleb reaching for Amanda just then...
The front door was still open although Caleb had turned away. But Amanda caught sight of me as she was slipping into the driver’s seat and her expression changed instantly to one of shock. I took a deep breath, pasted on a smile and got out of the car.
I waved cheerily and she froze for a second. Then she smiled and waved back. ‘Katja, hi! I was just confirming Caleb’s schedule of meetings for today. Have you brought breakfast?’ She nodded at the coffees and the bag of pastries I was carrying.
‘Yes. I was hoping to have some time with him. He’s been so busy lately.’
I said it in a perfectly pleasant way, but a shadow crossed her face for a second as if she suspected there was another layer to my meaning.
‘Well, he’ll be delighted to see you, I’m sure. Better dash. Good to see you.’ She started the engine, waved and drove off, and I was left there staring after the departing car, wondering what she was hiding.
I knew the purpose of her visit wasn’t to confirm his schedule of meetings. Caleb had told me himself that hehadno meetings today...
*****
Caleb appeared at the open door. About to close it, he looked over and saw me as I locked the car. I smiled and waved and hurried up the path.
‘What are youdoinghere?’ he demanded, peering along the street after Amanda’s car.
‘Joining the queue of morning visitors, apparently,’ I said, only half-joking.
With a frown, he reached out and pulled me inside so that I half-stumbled over the threshold and almost dropped one of the coffees.
‘Sorry,’ he mumbled, closing the door and taking the two cups from me. ‘Come in.’ He ushered me ahead of him into the sitting room and placed the cups on a side table.
My eye was drawn first to the embers of a fire smouldering in the grate and then to the whisky bottle and two glasses on the table, alongside the remains of some cheese and biscuits on a plate. There was an envelope lying on the sofa with Caleb’s full name handwritten on it in large capital letters.
‘What’s going on, Caleb?’ I handed him the bag of pastries and crossed my arms.
I’d been patient for long enough with his strange moods and the detached way he was behaving towards me. Something was wrong and I needed to know what it was, otherwise I’d go mad.‘Is our relationship still important to you? Because from where I’m standing, it seems that you’re not being entirely truthful with me – aboutanything!’
He frowned, rubbing his hands wearily over his eyes and the dark stubble on his face. ‘I don’t know what you mean.’
‘Caleb, you look awful. Sorry, but you do. There’s something troubling you and I need to know if it’s me that’s the problem. If you’re going off me, that’s fine. I’ll get over it. But I need to know.’ I felt sick to my stomach and I was trembling with the effort of telling him the truth about how I was feeling. ‘I mean, where do you see our relationship heading?’ I sounded desperate. I knew I did. But I had to know the truth.
He gazed at me for a long time without replying, his eyes dark with torment, and I realised I was holding my breath.
At last, he muttered, ‘I think we should cool things,’ and he turned away.
My heart gave a sickening lurch. So I’d been right; his feelings for me had died. I drew in a shaky breath. ‘Well, I’m glad you’ve told me. So did Amanda stay here last night?’ Trying desperately to hold back the tears, I nodded at the two whisky glasses.
‘What?’ Caleb looked at the glasses, bemused. Then he seemed to suddenly realise what I was asking him, and his eyes opened wide. ‘No! No, of course not.’
‘So you had a visitor last night and then I just happened to see Amanda leaving at nine-thirty in the morning?’ My insides were rolling around uncomfortably. I so hated confrontation of any kind – especially this. But I had to see it through.
‘She... was here last night. And then she called round this morning,’ he said.
I gave a bitter laugh. ‘And you want me tobelievethat?’ I shook my head incredulously. ‘She said she was here to confirm your meetings for the day, and yet you told me you didn’thaveany meetings. So do you see how I might be alittlebit suspiciousthat what I’m being told by the pair of you isn’t exactly adding up? What the hell is going on, Caleb? Just tellme the truth, for God’s sake!’
