Page 1 of Drown Like Heaven
Chapter 1
Dakota
“That’s the best I can do, darlin’.”
I stared at the man for a minute, trying to keep myself from tearing up. My hand was pressed flat to the glass countertop, the fresh black nail polish on my fingernails already chipping.I am never getting out of this place.
“Are you sure?”
“I’m sure.”
“Alright.” I took a deep breath. “Yeah.”
He popped open the drawer to the cash register and began thumbing out bills while I tried to calculate how far this money would get me. Not far enough. I watched his calloused hands gathering up the bundle of twenties and tens, my foot tapping on the broken tiles of the pawn shop.
A tinkling bell rang as the door opened and I glanced over, my eyes colliding with those of another old man, his face worn and weathered in the way that kind men’s faces were, lines creased into his skin from smiling or squinting against the sun—he wasn’t from here, I presumed. He gave me a polite smile before beginning to browse the selection of preowned handguns under a different counter. Through the barred windows I could see the earliest stages of more rain stirring up in the sky.
“Seventy-five bucks,” the cashier announced, bringing my attention back to his outstretched hand. I took the cash with as grateful of an expression as I could muster.
“Thank you.”
“Not a problem. I hope your luck turns. Sorry I couldn’t do more for you.”
“It’s okay. Maybe I’ll see you again if I find something else to sell.” A dry laugh fell from my lips.
The cashier just nodded with understanding, his eyes genuine and shining under the humming fluorescents. I cast a final look at the earrings while the shop owner picked them up off the glass and moved to put them away, the gold glinting softly, the little flowers dangling from their posts. They’d been a gift from someone I should’ve forgotten by now.
Maybe this was good. One less reminder of him in my life.
I pushed out the door into the gloomy light drifting down from the clouds in veils of blue. The air was damp and cool as I pulled it deep into my lungs, scented with pine and saltwater. Somewhere to my left, the Pacific ocean raged against dark sands and jagged cliffside, white spray flipping off the peaks of black rocks near the shore.
My shift didn’t start for another forty minutes, but I didn’t really have enough time to get back to my trailer and then down to the gas station in that amount of time, so I decided to head there early. I scuffed my feet on the gravelly pavement at the bus stop, cars whizzing past me along the sloping road.
Dim flickering drew my eye back to the front of the pawn shop, to the black bars over windows, the sign above the door:We buy gold!A different man pushed out the door and crossed the crumbling parking lot to his truck. The door creaked metallically as he opened it, causing a seagull to fly off one of the light poles spaced around the lot, then shut with a thud. Histruck rumbled to life, the wheels crunching over gravel as he turned onto the street.
I crossed my arms and shuffled closer to the sign for the bus stop. There wasn’t a bench to sit on, no covered area, just the single sign, one corner of the metal bent backwards and the words fading. If the ground wasn’t wet, I would’ve sat on the concrete-paved sidewalk that ended just a few feet past the bus stop, breaking off into grass and dirt and pebbles, but it rained so often here the ground was hardly ever really dry.
After a few minutes, the bus finally pulled up to the curb and the door whooshed open, brakes hissing. I climbed on and situated myself on one of the plastic seats next to the window, holding my bag on my lap as I popped my wired earbuds into my ears.
I leaned my head against the fogged up window, staring at the wet pavement and gray sky as we rattled down the road, my sleeves pulled over my hands. My phone buzzed on my lap and I picked it up, thumbs flicking over the cracked screen to unlock it.
Mila :Do you want to come over tonight?
I smiled. My final year of college would start next week, and maybe I should’ve been spending time reviewing the syllabi for my classes, but I could really use a night of horror movies and med school gossip about people I didn’t know.
Me :Yes. Can you pick me up after my shift?
Mila :Yay! Of course, when are you off today?
Me :Seven
Mila :Okay perfect, I’ll see you then
Tucking my phone back in my bag, I propped my chin on my palm, biting the inside of my cheek until I tasted iron and letting myself get lost in the daydreams I always tended to conjure up about my own circumstances.
In an alternate universe, this wasn’t my life.
I just wished I could live in that universe instead of this one.
