Page 146 of Drown Like Heaven
I reversed out of the space too fast, anger boiling in my blood.
But whatever had just happened between them made her textmeto pick her up, so it couldn’t matter—or at least that was what I told myself. Did he leave her here alone? Did he fuck her and drive away? He deserved whatever painful death Aamon had been saving for him.
“Back to my apartment?” I forced myself to ask.
“Sure.” She didn’t look over at me, her eyes glued to her phone screen, the cracked glass glowing dimly.
Do you hate me?
Are you ever going to forgive me for what I did?
I shouldn’t have ever let myself get that close to losing control around her. I couldn’t have predicted seeing Micah again five minutes before catching up with Dakota, but I should’ve stopped. I knew it was dangerous walking to her class building, knew I needed to go do something to cool down, but I didn’t. I put her in real danger, and I had to live with that shitty choice.
“What were you doing on campus so late?”
“Just drive, Mason,” she snapped.
But I couldn’t. Icouldn’t. I needed to know exactly what she’d done with him.
And yet, I couldn’t ask her without revealing that I knew him. That I knew him well enough to recognize his scent on someone else. That his scent was imprinted on every fucking strand of my DNA. That I’d spentyearswrapped up in it.
Jaw clenched painfully, I started the drive back to my place.
It was only a handful of minutes before Dakota slumped over, laying her arm on the center console and resting her head down on it. She curled her legs up on the seat, boots squeaking on the leather, breathing slow like she was going to fall asleep. My chest constricted when I looked at her.
She looked so small, so vulnerable. Andyoung.
Sometimes I forgot I had some seventy years on her. I was young for an angel, but Dakota was…twenty one years old. She was a fucking baby. And I needed to keep her safe, to hold her, to protect her, to make her belong to me.
I wanted to consume her whole, but I also wanted her untouched by anything else.
I’m the thing she needs protecting from, and I’ll never let her go.
I tentatively rested my hand on top of her head, lightly running my fingers through her hair—and she let me. She inclined her head, getting more comfortable as she relaxed intomy touch. Some of the anxiety in my chest dissipated with her silent acceptance.
It was hard to breathe with the scent of Micah so strong in the car, but I didn’t want to open the windows since Dakota seemed so peaceful laying next to me. I couldn’t see her face from the angle, so I wasn’t sure if her eyes were open or shut.
It took longer to get back to my apartment than it did to get to campus since I drove the speed limit this time, but Dakota stayed slumped down the whole way, my fingers sifting through her hair, scratching her head while she breathed steadily. We parked and I helped her out of the car, hoisting her up onto my back so she didn’t have to walk. She was so drained she didn’t even fight me on it.
Her face rested against my shoulder in the elevator, my arms tucked under her knees to hold her up. The forest smell surrounding her was torturous, but I didn’t mention it.
By the time we got into my apartment, I knew I wasn’t going to last the night without getting her to wash him off somehow. Micah’s kapnos was goddamn suffocating me. I couldn’t think of a good enough excuse to get her in the shower, so I decided to draw her up a nice bath, hoping to entice her into it so I’d be able to breathe.
She looked at me warily as I filled the tub, arms wrapped around herself, obviously not trusting me. Her instincts of distrust were accurate.
Sticking my hand under the heavy flow of water jetting into the tub, I adjusted the temperature with the knobs, trying to get it right for her. Steam began rising from the stream and I plugged the drain, allowing the tub to start filling up with hot water. Dakota remained standing over by the counter, hunched over a little. The large mirror behind her above the sink was one I’d only bought and installed a few days ago after punching and shattering the old one. I wasn’t sure she noticed it was different.
“I don’t have bubbles, but I could pour some soap in,” I offered.
“I don’t need bubbles.” Her voice was quiet.
“Do you want me to help you get undressed?”
She didn’t say anything for a minute, eyes staring blankly at the bath filling with water. Then she nodded.
Sometimes I thought about the night I first fucked her, the way she’d been laughing when I dragged her out her front door and down the stairs, the gorgeous smile on her face she didn’t want to show me. I thought about it a lot, actually.
Why are you so sad, baby?
