Page 161 of Drown Like Heaven
There was a vulnerable desperation in her eyes, in her shallow breaths. I laid my palm flat on her chest, right over her heart, feeling her racing pulse.
“No you don’t,” she whispered. “I don’t know what you’re saying.”
“You came in here without me telling you to,” I said, leaning down closer to her face. She was softening, her body relaxing into my hands. I liked it. I wanted her soft, wanted her just for me. She didn’t have to fight anything with me. Even without reaching into her head, I knew shewantedto surrender to me—but I also knew it might not be easy for her to do that.
Good. I don’t want easy. I want real.
“I shouldn’t have. Not without asking you.” She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth.
“You were tired. Did you dream?”
Her gaze shifted away from me, towards the window. “I always dream.”
“What were you dreaming about today?” My fingers pressed into her back, her ribs steadily moving with each breath. I could feel the shallow divots between each of them.
“Deer and forests.”
“Was it a good dream?”
Dakota’s eyes slowly slid back to meet my own, and she tentatively laid her palms on my chest. “I don’t know.” She looked down, tracing one of my buttons with her black-polished fingernail. “I think I wanted it to be good, but I wasn’t sure what would happen this time. I woke up before I found out.”
This time?“Do you have this dream a lot?” Her heartbeat was still quick under my hand, but slower than it was when she first woke up.
“It’s a memory more than a dream. I only started dreaming about it recently.”
I pulled her with me back over to my desk, sitting down and settling her on my lap. She tried to squirm and get off me, but I held her tighter.
“Stop.”
“Why? I don’t understand.” She was getting flustered again, succumbing to her urge to hide from everyone—including me.
“I’m allowed to fuck you, come on you, but you won’t sit on my lap and talk to me? I told you I wanted this all the time.”
“You. Are. My. Professor,” she snapped, her voice hushed and angry. “We’re not…like that.”
“No? What are we like?”
“I don’t know.” Dakota finally relaxed her body, a long exhale escaping her parted lips as she slumped against my chest. “You’re the one who knows.”
“I’m the one who knows, or you want me to tell you?”
“The second thing.” She twisted her head, tilting her face so she was looking at me. Her pupils were slightly dilated and her green irises appeared darker than usual, since there weren’t any lights on in here. I liked that.
“I take care of you, and you let me,” I answered.
“Are you sure you want that? I’m not—”
“Yes. I could’ve stopped this from happening entirely, and I didn’t. I’m not going to.” My hand was resting on her knee, her legs draped over the armrest, and I moved it up a couple inches, feeling the warmth of her thigh through her jeans. I didn’t care if it felt fast to her. I’d used such a vast amount of patience over the course of my life, and I didn’t want to wait for her any longer.
“I just don’t understand why.”
“Because I like you, Masters. You live in your own little world, and I want to see more of it.”I want you to let me into it.
She was quiet, contemplating my response. It didn’t seem like she believed me. Maybe she wanted to, but she didn’t. I’d get her there. She would learn to trust me fully. With her life.
“You aced your exam,” I said, squeezing her thigh.
“You graded mine already?” Her eyes fell to my mouth for half a second, her tongue skating across her lower lip.
