Page 188 of Drown Like Heaven
I flipped over onto my back, my phone gripped in both my hands above my face, filtering blue light down onto my comforter through the darkening twilight. Micah had texted me; Mason had not.
Both of them knew where I lived now.
But I wasn’t thinking about that. I was thinking about Mila and a slutty outfit and getting absolutely shitfaced to avoid thinking about everything that was wrong with my life.
Despite having a few days to come to terms with the knowledge that angels and demons were real, I didn’t feel much better about it. I hadn’t spoken to Mason about anything, either. The last time I saw him was when he left Micah’s house the morning I discovered the truth of why I’d felt so uneasy around them at first, of why their physical appearances were so inhumanly perfect.
Fallen angels.
My thumbs flew over the cracked screen of my phone as I tapped out a message to Mila.
Me :Are you still going out tonight?
Her little response bubble popped up almost instantly, unwinding some of the tension in my chest. I rolled over onto myside while I watched her type, tucking my legs up and chewing on my lower lip. My eyes flicked over to the window of my bedroom, staring at the purple sky through my broken blinds until I felt my phone buzz.
Mila :Yes. It’s me, Serena, and Zoey. Do you want to come now?! Please say yes. I miss you
I smiled, toes wiggling in my fuzzy socks.
Me :If that’s okay with you, yes. I need to get out of here for a night
Mila :Of course it’s okay with me! Do you want me to pick you up? I’ll have to leave pretty soon if you want that
Me :That would be amazing. I’ll be ready, just let me know when you’re here
Right after I sent the message, I rolled out of bed, feet hitting the thin carpet on my floor. I needed this night, for more than one reason. I needed to see my best friend, and I needed to black out. Two birds with one stone.
I walked into the bathroom, flicking the switch on the wall to turn the light on as I rubbed my tired eyes. The most recent Unit Ops lab didn’t have a lab report like the first one, but it did have a presentation, which would be due soon. That combined with homework and studying for all my other classes was only compounding on top of my stress regarding Mason and Micah.
I couldn’t get a fucking break.
Looking in the dingy mirror, I stared at my green eyes, the dark circles underneath them, the silver locket resting between my collarbones.
Angels are real, and I know two of them.
…Nope. Not today.
I yanked open the top drawer on my plastic organizer and grabbed my hairbrush, then started dragging it through my hair. Using the rubber band on my wrist, I pulled it back into a long ponytail on the back of my head, leaving out the shorter pieces that framed my face.
My phone buzzed on the edge of the sink, the vibration causing it to clatter down off into the ceramic basin and making me jump.Thank God the water wasn’t on.I swiped it up, reading a message from Mila informing me that she’d left her apartment, then set it down more carefully next to my toothbrush cup where the ledge was wider.
I didn’t own many clothes that I considered ‘going-out’ clothes, but I did own a lot of black, which would work for my purposes. It was getting cold outside, so I tugged on a pair of sheer black tights before my shorts—also black, and tight, and short. I flicked through my shirts on the hangers, landing on my lowest cut black long sleeve top, then pulled that on too. I didn’t look especiallysexy, but I felt cute enough.
I stomped back into the bathroom with my big boots on, then quickly did my eyeliner and mascara before smoothing my lips with Aquaphor. I could fuck someone tonight if I wanted—someone other than the fucking nightmare men I’d accidentally trapped myself with.
That thought didn’t bring me much joy, but I could pretend it did, pretend I might actually enjoy a nameless hookup, while knowing in my idiotic heart that I was too attached to both of them for that.
Both of them.
Even that sentence was messed up, hence the need for alcohol.
Mila arrived after a few minutes, singing shamelessly to her music as I locked my front door then darted down the steps,already shivering. I hopped in her passenger seat, grateful for the heat on full blast.
“You look like Lara Croft,” she said, tugging my ponytail. “This is cute.”
“Thank you, Mils. You look sexy.”
“Thanks, zayka.” She grinned and went back to singingKnee Socksby Arctic Monkeys. Her happiness was contagious, and I was singing right along with her before long, head tipped back on the seat, a goofy smile pasted on my face.
