Page 191 of Drown Like Heaven
My eyelids felt so heavy all of a sudden, the alcohol in my system muffling all my thoughts. I moved to lay on my side, worried I would fall asleep and choke on my own vomit if I stayed on my back. My skull was pounding.
I kicked my foot out and knocked the vodka off my bed, the heavy glass hitting the floor with a loudthud, then rolling slowly across the room. The noise made my head ache. But my bed felt warm, and sleep was calling to me, dragging me down, down…
A knock on my front door had my eyes flying open.
I fumbled for my phone, squinting my eyes to focus on the clock.Did I fall asleep?It’d been almost two hours since I last checked the time.
Shit.
I couldn’t even remember how I’d ended up laying in my bed, nor did I remember deciding to go to sleep.
There was another knock. I sprung to my feet, swaying unsteadily, trying to remember where I put my knife. I spotted it on top of my dresser, so I grabbed it, almost tripping over the bottle of vodka laying on the ground in the middle of the room. My mouth was dry and my head hurt, my feet uncoordinated as I moved them into the hall.
I stumbled over to the front door, slamming into it and aligning my eye with the peephole.Micah.
My heart squeezed and fresh tears tipped over my lower lashes, all the fight draining right out of me the second I saw his face. I unlocked and opened the door, dropping the knife on the ground. Micah didn’t hesitate to step inside and wrap me in his arms, not saying anything, just holding me as I started crying harder.
It was too dark in the trailer and I hated how drunk I still was and I wished he could fix me.
I cried into his chest, wanting to have the strength to just push him away and stand up on my own—but knowing I didn’t. Everything I did with him was wrong, and yet, I couldn’t stop. I didn’t even care that he was my professor at this point; it was the least of my worries now that I knew he wasn’t evenhuman. It felt so pointless now. Such an easily-overcome hurdle compared to everything else.
“Will you tell me what’s wrong?” Micah said with his lips pressed to my hairline, his palms rubbing up and down my back.
“Everything is wrong,” I mumbled. His shirt was damp from my tears.
“Does that include me?”
“Yes. Of course it includes you. And—” I cut myself off, sniffling.And Mason, was what I wanted to say, but I couldn’t tell Micah that. We’d never explicitly defined our relationship as somethingexclusive, but that insignificant fact was onlysomething to assuage my guilt, not to erase his anger if he learned what I’d done with Mason.
“And what?”
“It doesn’t matter. I’m drunk.”
“I know you’re drunk.” He walked me backwards into the kitchen, then lifted me and sat me down on the counter. I stared down at my knees pressed against his stomach. I was less inebriated than before my two hour nap, but far from sober. Micah held the back of my head and I slumped forward, leaning into him.
“Can you fly me somewhere?” I asked, my voice muffled against his shirt. “With your wings,” I clarified. The alcohol was making me brave or stupid. I didn’t know which.
He hesitated a moment, before replying, “Sure. Anywhere.”
“Really?” I sat up to look at him.
“Yeah. It’s cloudy. I’m shocked you’re asking me to do this, though.”
“I have to.”
“You really don’t. I’m not going to force you to fly with me.”
I shut my eyes, feeling the throb in my skull. “I do. If I’m going to keep doing this with you, I have to…see the angel things.” The words my mouth was saying didn’t make sense to my brain, but I mostly meant them. In the back of my mind, there was this little timer, counting down to the end, and it was injecting urgency into my movements. Everything would eventually implode, and I needed to make use of the time I had left.
“Where do you want to go?” Micah asked, running his fingers through the ends of my hair.
“To my favorite beach.”
“Then let’s get some pants on you, yeah? And a coat.” He took a step back.
“Won’t I be warm if you hold me?” I wiped my eyes with my fists.
“It’s still going to be cold in the sky. And I thought you might want to walk around on the beach.”
