Page 68 of Drown Like Heaven
But more than anything, I was scared of the lengths I’d go to keep feeling like this.
Nobody had ever made me feel the way Mason did before.
Alive.
There weren’t words strong enough to convey the visceral sensations he conjured from my body, the exquisite agony he subjected my mind to, the vicious turmoil he injected into my soul. Somehow he’d twisted my own instability into something beautiful, something necessary.
I don’t know how I’m supposed to deal with any of this.
“Fine,” I said quietly. “You have your fear. And this is anger.”
I raised my hand and slapped him across the face as hard as I could.
Then I turned around and took off sprinting up the beach, the soles of my feet pushing hard off the damp sand.
Wind rushed in my ears as I picked up speed, moving faster and faster.I need to get out of here.I could really use those wings right now.My hand was stinging and tears were rolling down my cheeks and I couldn’t get enough air into my lungs and I hated him, Ihatedhim.
How had I let myself get so wrapped up in this?
I choked on my heaving inhales, the muscles in my legs burning, tiredness infusing my limbs. The desperate escape attempt was pointless anyway. Mason was going to catch me. I couldn’t hear him, but the sand was quiet to run on, and my pulse was pounding in my ears. He’d probably be mad I hit him.
Suddenly, a sharp pain seared across the nerves in my left foot.
An anguished scream burst from my throat and I pitched sharply forward, hands outstretched as I fell towards the sand.
Strong arms wrapped tight around my waist, quickly hoisting me up before I could hit the ground, Mason’s warm chest colliding with my back as he swept me off my feet. I was gasping, eyes wide with panic, pain making my vision blurry.
My hands grasped at his shoulders while he lifted me into his arms like a child, already walking at a quick pace towards the rocks.
“I think I stepped on a piece of glass,” I said in a rush against his bare chest, my head swimming and the world darkening on the edges. Sickness roiled in my gut and clawed at my throat. “I know I did.”
“Don’t think about it,” Mason said as he looked down at my pale face. Maybe he’d already seen what happened, and that was why he hadn’t hesitated a second to start bringing me to the car.
“I’m going to be sick,” I choked out.
“No you’re not. Don’t think about it, Dakota. I only like you passing out when I do it myself. Just hang on until we get to the car.”
“Are you joking?” I managed to ask, swallowing against the nausea.
“I don’t know.”
My foot was throbbing, a deep pain blooming across my arch. I made the mistake of opening my eyes and seeing the line of blood dripping down the side of my heel, bright red, mixing with the ocean water and sand stuck to my skin. A few crimson drops fell off my heel, plummeting to the black rocks below.
I gritted my jaw, trying to focus on breathing through my nose, but I was starting to hyperventilate. My arms wrapped tighter around Mason’s neck.
He was moving fast, easily navigating the awkward path up over the rocks to get to the parking lot, somehow not jostlingme too much. His eyes kept flicking down to my face every few seconds, his grip tightening around my back and under my knees. Heat prickled along my chest and neck, a cold sweat dampening my forehead.
We finally reached the top and Mason opened the trunk of his car, setting me down so I was sitting on the edge. He grabbed the first-aid kit and a towel, then helped me roll over onto my stomach, the towel folded under my face so I had something soft to lay on. I felt shaky and sick.
“Don’t watch what I’m doing,” he instructed. I heard the sound of him flicking up the plastic latches to open the kit. “Okay?” His palm brushed over my calf, giving a reassuring squeeze.
I managed a trembling nod, my tears making the towel damp under my cheek.
There were more sounds. Rustling, paper ripping, crinkling.
“So I got fear and anger, yeah? Now you’ve been generous enough to also give me pain.” It mostly sounded like he was talking to himself, but I figured it was meant to distract me as well. “What else can I get from you, baby?”
Stop calling me that.
