Page 120 of Drown Like Heaven
“And we’re done for the day, so you can leave.”
We’d barely even started the run, so his purposeful dismissal of me was very obvious.
Without saying anther word, I grabbed my belongings and sped out of the lab, not wanting to give him a chance to change the narrative on what just happened between us.
I raced up to the sixth floor, throwing myself into an armchair and grabbing my journal from my bag, determined to write down every hidden statement in everything he’d just said—if only to have something to draw from when alone in the dark.
Careful.
I don’t blur lines. I cross them.
It was reckless and idiotic to still feel any desire to throw myself at this man, given how he’d reacted to me the last time, but it was difficult to stop. I needed something other than thechaos Mason drowned me in. This time, I’d at least given myself some plausible deniability with my word choice.
?????
The sun was setting, painting the horizon with shades of amber and amethyst, the shadowed undersides of the clouds creeping across the sky. I was still sitting in the same sixth-floor armchair, having just completed most of my Unit Ops exam review.
I stretched my arms above my head, trying to fix my posture and relieve some tension in my muscles, a yawn slipping past my lips. It was getting late, but I still had some time before the busses stopped running. Getting up from my seat, I checked my phone for any notifications, responded to Mila, then went to the elevator.
Instead of pressing the button for the first floor, I hit the one for the basement.
My blood was still simmering low with heat from earlier.
I knocked on the door to Dr. Killshaw’s lab. I had no idea if he was still in here or not, but I wanted to try.
The door unlatched and swung open a moment later.
“You’re back,” he commented, allowing me to pass him, then shutting the door again, trapping us in dangerous isolation.
“I did most of the exam review,” I said, secretly hoping for his approval.
“Great.”
“It wasn’t very difficult,” I added.
“You’ll do well on the exam, then.”
I was beginning to feel stupid for coming down here to tell him the small, insignificant fact of me finishing his exam review. He didn’t care, and I hadn’t really expected him to. I sank my teeth into my lower lip, embarrassment making my chest tight. Memories of all the worst moments with him were creeping in.
Him ignoring me. Disregarding me. Being cruel. Saying he could get me expelled.
I truly was a masochist.
“Okay, cool. I’m gonna go.” I jerked my thumb over my shoulder awkwardly.
“Alright.”
God, fuck. Give me something.
“What are you doing?” I blurted out, motioning now to the whiteboard he was standing in front of, trying to act more curious about the numbers he was scribbling than the way his dress shirt fit his shoulders.
“You don’t need to ask me about my research. Go rest.”
“I wanted to ask.”
He sighed, capping the blue marker. “This isn’t part of our work together.” He stepped away from the board, towards me. His palm landed on my shoulder as he turned me around, guiding me to the door—not harshly, but firmly. I kept my smile to myself at the warmth of his hand on my body.
Dr. Killshaw held the door open for me. I went through then lingered in the hallway, staring at him.
