Page 36 of Holly Jolly Heat
Sasha:You're smiling while typing that, aren't you?
I was. Damn it.
Michelle:I have to go. Work to do.
Sasha:Sure. "Work." Not hiding from your feelings.
Michelle:I can do both.
I set down my phone and tried to refocus on the spreadsheet, but my brain wouldn't cooperate. Instead, it kept replaying this morning.
The way Ro had looked at me in the early morning kitchen, like I was beautiful even with messy hair and no makeup and my guard completely down.
The way he'd listened when I talked about my fears, not dismissing them but acknowledging them.
The way he'd shared about his grandmother, an omega who'd balanced pack and personal identity, who'd chosen her art sometimes and been loved anyway.
The way he'd caught me on that trail and held me for just a moment too long, and I'd let him.
I was in so much trouble.
A knock on my door made me jump.
"Michelle?" Maya's voice. "Mom says to tell you that Bill and Lucas are about to start the gingerbread stream. She thinks you should 'supervise.'" I could hear the air quotes in her voice.
"I'm working."
"You're hiding."
"I'm working AND hiding. Multitasking."
Maya opened the door without permission, sixteen-year-old privilege, and leaned against the doorframe with a knowing smirk. "You like them."
"I'm their manager."
"You like-like them. All three of them." She grinned. "It's very obvious. Lucas looks at you like you're made of sunshine. Ro spent all morning filming you instead of the town. And Dex keeps positioning himself between you and any perceived threat, which right now is Josh's enthusiasm."
"That's just—they're just—" I gave up. "Maya, I don't know what I'm doing."
Her expression softened. "Then stop trying to know. Just feel."
"Feelings are messy."
"Feelings are human." She sat on the edge of my bed. "Michelle, I've watched you work yourself into exhaustion for years. I've seen you choose your business over everything else. Vacations. Holidays. Relationships. Even sleep. And you've been successful, yeah. But have you been happy?"
The question hit harder than it should have.
"I've been... satisfied. Accomplished."
"That's not the same as happy."
"It's enough."
"Is it though?" Maya looked at me with eyes too wise for sixteen. "Because from where I'm sitting, the happiest I've seen you in years is right now. Even though you're terrified. Even though it's complicated. You're smiling more. You're stress-baking instead of stress-working. You're letting people in."
"I'm a mess."
"You're human. Finally." She stood. "Come downstairs. Lucas is about to teach Josh how to stream gingerbread content, and it's either going to be adorable or a disaster. Either way, you should be there."
