Page 16 of Play to Win
6
“I’m wet and I ache at the thought of your mouth on me there,” Portia said and then clapped a hand over her mouth.
What the hell was she doing?She had no idea where the words had come from but recognized them for truth.
She was sitting in the center of the bed in her childhood bedroom, legs crossed with a magazine spread out in front of her. After Ethan left a while ago, she hadn’t been in the mood to clean. Her mind—and body—had been too wound up from seeing him again. So instead, she’d taken a shower with her trusty vibrator and afterwards—feeling mildly relaxed—fixed a half sandwich and grabbed a can of soda. The television was on, but she was paying no attention to whatever show that was playing.
When her phone rang, she’d picked it up and answered even though she hadn’t recognized the number, but because of the Virginia area code, thought it could’ve been the construction foreman or someone from the realtor’s office. Never in a million years would she have guessed it could be Ethan.
“Yes,” he insisted on a gruff sigh. “I want you nice and wet. Tell me more about being inside of you,” he said, his voice a deep timbre that made her feel as if he were lying right here next to her. “How does it make you feel? ‘Cause damn, I already know how it’s making me feel.”
It was making her nervous. This entire conversation, the fact that he obviously had a copy of her bookandwas reading it, and was now initiating phone sex with her, all made Portia jittery as hell. On the one hand, her fingers gripped the phone tightly. On the other, they shook slowly as she forced herself to pull her hand away from her mouth.
“What are you doing?” She had to concentrate to keep a slow and deliberate tone.
That’s how it worked for her. Whenever she felt overwhelmed or as if she might be losing control, it took a concerted effort to bring herself back to normalcy—or at least her level of normal. She hadn’t felt like this in a while, so she had to tick off every action in her mind to be sure she was gaining the balance she needed. It wasn’t easy being Portia Merin.
He sounded as if he were taking a deep breath and then releasing it slowly and loudly.
“I’m reading this book that you wrote and trying not to come in my hand as I match the sound of your voice with the words on the page,” he told her.
A vision of Ethan laying on a bed, hard dick in his hand, jerking off to her book…and her voice, sent a quick bolt of lust through her system. It landed like a bullseye between her legs, where her pussy now pulsated.
“They’re just words,” she said after licking her very dry lips.
“Words that have power,” he continued.
He was correct. They could continue to say words that related to a passionate sexual experience and each of them would continue to grow aroused. Or, for Ethan, he could most likely go without the words. In a research paper she’d read while writing her book, Portia learned that male desire could be considered a “solitary affair”. Meaning that, Ethan’s single-minded pursuit of sexual arousal could exist independent of a relationship. So she could hang up this phone and Ethan would most likely continue with his train of sexual thoughts and masturbate until he achieved orgasm. That’s how the male body worked.
The female body on the other hand, or rather, Portia’s body, was a different story entirely. There had been no words in research papers or textbooks to describe the type of sex life she’d adopted over the years. The one where she didn’t really need words. Or a partner. When she felt edgy or in need of release, Portia found that release alone. She had a variety of vibrators, dildos, and massage tools to help achieve a satisfying outcome. No words, no videos, and no man.
While circumstances beyond her control precipitated her personal sexual situation, confidence and courage had propelled her success in the very field that made her so nervous she now felt a little nauseous.
“Portia? Are you still there?”
“Yes!” she replied overenthusiastically. “I’m here. But Ethan I should tell you that you’re just reading a book. It’s designed to help coach men and women through finding intimacy with each other. It’s not an ah…not meant to, I mean, it’s not supposed to…”
“Just tell me how you feel,” he interrupted her. “I want to hear you say how you feel when I tell you how hard I am from thinking about kissing you.”
That pulsating started again between her legs, building intensely until Portia used her free hand to press a fist there. She had to uncurl her legs and squeeze her thighs tightly for the sensations to subside.
“I don’t…I mean, I can’t,” she began but didn’t quite know how to explain her predicament. Or if she even should. This was really none of Ethan’s business. It was no one’s business for that matter.
“When I watched your demonstration at the hotel, I wanted your mouth on my dick just like that. You had me so aroused I couldn’t wait to get you alone so I could ask if I could be your next test subject. And then I kissed you…now I want you, Portia.”
He sounded so good. His tone, his words were everything she’d imagined hearing so long ago. Well, maybe not since she was just a teenager then and had zero experience with blow jobs or sexual arousal. But a part of her mind was screaming“Yes!”while the other part feared this was the first step to a colossal mistake.
“I just wrote a book, Ethan. I did lots of research and I took psychology classes and I pretend.” She made the admission quickly. “I pretend I know what I’m doing. I act out everything that I write, but I don’t know. I don’t know how to do what you want me to do.”
There, she’d said it. She was a complete fake. She could demonstrate sexual acts that she’d never experienced on a personal level and she could write about the origins of intimacy and sexual relations. But Portia had been involved in only one relationship that had lasted six months. She’d had sex with two men in the entire twenty-nine years of her life. And courageous or not, she couldn’t participate in a bout of hot steamy phone sex with a guy like Ethan Henley!
Her temples throbbed as her cheeks flushed with embarrassment. She wanted to disconnect the call immediately and bury her face under a pillow. But she continued to take slow, steady breaths and hold the phone too tightly against her ear.
Ethan was quiet for a few seconds before he said, “Where are you right now?”
Portia blinked and looked around the room as if she thought he could somehow see her. She knew that wasn’t possible, so she relaxed enough to answer him.
“I’m sitting on my bed.”
