Page 46 of Play to Win
“That’s not necessary,” he told her.
“Yes. It is,” she insisted. “I brought negative exposure to the bar you’ve all been working really hard to build. That was never my intention and it’s important to me that you, the guys and Camy know that.”
“They all know that without you having to say it, Portia.”
Del had been so sure of it that he’d immediately known that Melissa was behind the video being played and he’d singled out the part-time server that she had bullied into uploading the video to their system. The server was fired and Del fully planned to do whatever he could to keep Melissa in jail or at least tied up in legal woes, for as long as possible. Ethan wasn’t against that plan, especially not after the threats Melissa had levied the last time he’d seen her.
He was, however, still a little confused as to what exactly had happened in Portia’s life after she’d left Providence.
“I’m not a porn star,” she said evenly. “If that’s what you’re thinking.”
“I wasn’t thinking that,” Ethan said. Which was true. That thought had entered his mind for all of three seconds after the video disappeared from the screens. But there was no way the woman who’d admitted to being a faker had once been a porn star.
“And even if I were, it’s a high paying and respectable job in the adult entertainment industry, no different from any other acting position,” she said.
Ethan wasn’t going to debate that fact, having seen more than his share of X-rated films while in high school and college. He was well aware that adult entertainment was a billion-dollar industry across the world, and he didn’t begrudge anyone who made their living that way.
“Nobody is judging you, Portia,” he told her. “You can rest easy about that. We’re not the immature kids we were back then. At least not all of us. You’ve come to mean a lot to our little circle and I just wanted to stop by to make sure you were alright.”
“I am,” she said quickly. “Thank you.”
She turned and had taken a few steps up the path to the house when she stopped. Ethan was glad. He knew there was more he should say to her, that he should try to explain, he was just having the hardest time finding the words.
“I’m going to tell you what happened, Ethan. Because I think you should know.”
“Okay.” He didn’t know what to expect, only that he needed to know. He needed to understand what had happened to this woman who’d changed his life. “Do you want to go inside and talk?”
“No,” she answered and shook her head. “I’ll be quick about it and then we can both get on with our lives.”
Ethan didn’t like the way she’d said those words or how they made him feel inside.
“I began dating Bobby the early part of my senior year in college.” She eased her arms around to clasp her hands in front of her.
Ethan could see her fingers moving but she kept talking.
“I thought we were good together. He was my first,” she said and then cleared her throat. “On one of the occasions that we had sex, Bobby thought it would be cute to record us. He also thought that video should be shown to the world, so he uploaded it to YouTube without my knowledge. I was mortified when my roommate showed it to me. I was going to barricade myself in my room to escape the embarrassment. But Sunny called me that next morning. I don’t know how she found out what was going on, but she knew and she wanted to board the next plane so she could whip Bobby’s ass. I talked her out of that.” She chuckled.
Ethan could imagine that reaction. He wouldn’t mind getting in a punch or two with Bobby himself.
“But then Sunny said something that made a lot of sense. She always did. Among other things that were said during that hour-long phone call, she told me to never let anyone have the last word over my destiny. I thought about that for days. And then I made my first video. It was a blow-by-blow replay of the sex tape with Bobby, wherein I explained everything that he’d done wrong.”
“You did what?”
She nodded and smiled. “Yep. I turned the tables on that bastard and made him the laughingstock of the school. And for a few weeks, it felt really good. Then I was flanked by guilt that I’d turned into my own worse nightmare. So I was going to take the video down, but when I logged into my account, I saw that the video had over three million views in just those few days. I did some quick research on paid YouTube channels and wondered if I could do it. If so many people were interested in what I had to say on this video, would they be interested in what I said on others? Within a month, I’d done research day and night, developing a script, toying with the idea of using a fake name, everything. Then one night I just did it. I taped the video and I uploaded it, charging for each view this time. And that’s how Pleasure Inc. began. Two years ago, I was approached by a literary agent who thought I had the perfect platform for a series of how-to books to go along with the videos.”
“Your success came from a vicious act,” he said incredulously. “You built an empire on the back of the fool who tried to hurt you.” She was a fuckin’ genius.
She shrugged. “I did what I had to do to survive. And I succeeded beyond my wildest dreams. So, that’s what I plan to do again, Ethan. I’m leaving Providence to continue on with my life.”
He didn’t speak, didn’t really know what to say.Stay. Be with me even though I’ve been a jackass. Live in this town where there’re still vengeful bitches like Melissa.None of that sounded right. It didn’t sound fair to her and all she’d fought to become.
“We had a good time, but I don’t belong here.” She continued because he hadn’t spoken. “I never have. Say goodbye to everyone for me. I really enjoyed these past weeks with everyone.”
She turned away from him then and started back up the path.
“Wait,” he called out to her. “Just wait a minute. I don’t want you walking away thinking that what we did was just fun and games. You just don’t understand where I’m coming from. You don’t understand—” And he was doing a horrible job trying to explain it to her. His parents had left him, Stacey had betrayed him and this woman who’d opened his heart again was leaving him. Yet he couldn’t find the words to make her stay, couldn’t get out of his head with all the negative thoughts to beg her to be with him.
“Oh no,” she said when she turned back to face him. “I understand completely, Ethan. We’re both messed up by our pasts. And while we were strong enough to pick ourselves up and move on, we still hold the doubt and fears that made us who we are today. It’s okay, I believe in always learning from my mistakes. I learned that I deserve more than an idiot who would video me without my consent, and a fling that was based on words I’d written in a book instead of anything either of us admitted to feeling in our hearts.”
“Portia.” He tried again. “I never meant to hurt you.”
“And you didn’t,” she told him. “You helped me grow. I hope I did the same for you. Goodbye, Ethan.”
