Page 51 of Playing for Keeps
“I’m not used to trusting people,” he replied. “When I was a kid, I trusted that my parents would always be together and they’d always be there for me, but that didn’t happen. My dad died and then my mom was gone. I trusted the counselors at school who said to be honest and things would be alright, so I convinced Lance that we should admit to trashing those bathrooms. And we got thrown into Grace House. Then I trusted that we were all equal and had the same rights as every other kid in this town, but then Mal came onto the basketball court that day and talked all that trash before calling my mother names.” He stopped, scrubbed his hands over his face and stared at her. “Yeah, I broke his nose, but he deserved that and so much more. They gave me more time at the House and that’s when I realized I couldn’t trust anybody. Not outside of my brothers and Camy.”
“That’s a horrible way to live,” she told him while her heart broke for the boy who’d felt so desolate and afraid that he’d make that type of resolution.
“Was it really? Because the minute I let my guard down again, Shannen jumped in, doing her dance about selling drugs to help her grandmother and using me to save her from Renaldo. That night of the raid I realized she’d been playing us both, sleeping with me and giving me tidbits of information on Renaldo’s operation, and still sleeping with him too, taking his money and finally tipping him off about the planned raid.
“That’s how he got to her. Since she wasn’t only still dealing for him, but sleeping with him too, all he’d had to do was text her and she went running. He slit her throat and stuffed my business card in her hand to let everybody know he knew she was an informant. Then he came to the club and shot up the place just as our officers were going in.”
In those moments Rylan was filled with a deep sorrow and simmering rage, all swirling around her as she stared at this man she’d thought she knew so well. In the end, she hadn’t known this side of Del at all. It occurred to her in those moments that while she remembered everything there was to know about the boy, the man was a totally different person.
“I don’t know what to say now,” she admitted.
He shook his head. “I told you, you didn’t have to say anything.” He walked away then, moving behind the bar to pick up a bottle and carry it to the table where the candles were lit.
There was no other request from him, so the decision was totally hers. Rylan unzipped and removed her coat. She smoothed down the wrinkled t-shirt and jeans she’d hastily slipped on and walked to the table, taking the seat across from him. He removed the top from the bottle and poured Hennessey in two glasses.
“I figured we might need more than your spiked hot chocolate tonight.”
She didn’t argue with him but picked up the glass he’d set in front of her right after he picked up his. “You figured right.”
They sat like that for who knew how long, sipping from their glasses and looking at each other.
“I love you,” he said after a while. “I think I knew it that morning when the sheriff told me your father was the one who pointed him in my direction.”
Her heart did a stop-thud-stop-thud motion with his admission. “You had a very distressing way of showing that when you arrived at the shop.”
He took another drink from his glass and nodded. “You’re right. I had two gut punches delivered simultaneously. But you’re right, I fucked up.”
Was this the point where she told him she loved him too? Still. Because she’d really been trying to convince herself in this past week to toss that feeling out the door, unfortunately, it hadn’t listened.
“I’m sorry for speaking to you the way I did and for not trusting you. But mostly I’m sorry for not believing in us, in what we had together. I don’t know why I couldn’t see it before that moment.”
“Because you couldn’t trust that you deserved something so good,” she said. “Truth be told, I didn’t trust it either. If I had I would’ve left the shop and come pounding on your door to tell you how much of an ass you were being. But I didn’t.” She shrugged. “I just walked away.”
“I don’t blame you.”
“I did my part and you did yours,” she said easily.
“Man, you’re making this apology really hard with all this understanding. I was prepared to listen to you cursing me out.”
She grinned. “Yeah, that’s why you were adamant that I didn’t have to say anything.”
He tossed his head back and laughed.
“But seriously, I don’t want to argue with you, Del. I meant what I said about us being adults. We both did what we did because we wanted to, I can own up to that. I didn’t expect it to turn out like this, but it did.”
“I didn’t expect to fall in love with you,” he told her.
She lifted her glass to her lips, took another sip and put it down. Then she waited a beat before saying, “I didn’t expect to fall in love with you either.
New Year’s Day
Del:Tell me what you like.
Rylan:I like hot chocolate and morning wake-up kisses.
Del:I miss the spiked hot chocolate.
Rylan:You know where to find it.
