Page 6 of Six More Minutes
“No.” She shook her head and interrupted him. “Let me finish.”
He nodded.
“I’m not asking for too much nor am I checking off some list in my mind making sure the man meets every last one of my criteria. But at the same time, I’m not putting my needs on the backburner any longer. I want to be married and have children one day. Family means everything to me. Period.”
Family meant everything to Myles as well. He just never thought about having one of his own.
“I want all the things that my mother couldn’t have because my father decided to sleep with a production assistant and the backlash of being in the spotlight put too much stress and distance between them for any hope of a reconciliation.”
Her voice hitched as she spoke of her parents and he wanted to reach out and touch her, console her for what he knew had been a tremendous loss for her. But he also knew that she needed to do this, she needed to speak her piece and the best thing he could do for her right now was to just listen.
“I like you, Myles.” She shook her head again and gave a half smile. “I like you a whole lot. I like how you can make me laugh when I’m feeling down, how you pamper me not because you’re trying to impress me, but just because it’s the way you are. I like hearing the sound of your voice when you call or waking up to see your good morning text messages because you’re such an early bird.”
He smiled then too because she always made jokes about how early he got up in the morning. She had no idea it was because he preferred being awake and busy.
“I like being in your arms and having you inside me. Man, I like that so much.”
They both chuckled, but she sobered quickly.
“But that’s not enough anymore. It’s not what I want this next year to be.”
“What do you want from me?” That hadn’t been what he’d contemplated saying and yet those were the words that just slipped out.
“I want more of a commitment. I want us to act like this is going somewhere other than the next weekend getaway for terrific sex. I want to see if there’s more to us than just “like”.”
She wanted what was impossible for him to give.
Five
He was taking toolong to answer and Gemma knew what that meant.
“But if you’re not willing to give me, or rather us, that chance, it’s fine. I understand, you’re not built for relationships. That’s what you told me one night when we were on the phone and I admire you for owning your limitations and making them known. It’s just time for me to do the same.”
She’d started to move like she was going to get up from the couch when his hand on her arm stopped her.
“I admire you for knowing what you want,” he said when she looked over at him again. “I thought we were on one track and now you’re shifting directions.”
Remaining still she sighed. “I know it might seem abrupt to you, but these last couple of months have been a lot for me. I’ve done so much soul searching ‘til I think my ancestors have weighed in on the next steps I should take.” She chuckled wryly even though she had actually broken down one night and asked her mother for guidance. Still missing Olivia Taylor eleven years after her death, Gemma often called on the only woman she’d ever looked up to.
“I don’t have that many people I can discuss my next steps in life with.” Myles may have come from a large family, but more often than not he acted like a loner.
There’d been many times she’d felt sad for him after one of their conversations, sad for how all he basically talked about was work. Even when mentioning his family, it was always through the lens of his business or one of his other family member’s business. Never in terms of just spending time with the people he loved, even though she got the sense that he loved his parents and sisters very much.
“You’ve mentioned your sisters and your mother, don’t you talk to them? About something other than work, I mean?” she asked.
He hadn’t moved his hand from her arm, but now, he eased it down to take her hand, staring at her fingers as if it were the first time he’d seen them. Luckily, she’d gotten her nails done before making the trip to Temptation. The red and white snowflake design on every other nail was festive and appropriate considering the way the snow had picked up outside.
“I don’t talk about my personal life with them very much. Even though they’d love it if I did. Especially my mother and Cee-Cee, they’re always trying to hook me up with some woman they know.” He laced his fingers through hers.
“And they haven’t been successful yet? I find that hard to believe.” In fact, thinking back over the last year while she’d been very open about her dating life, Myles had never once told her about a woman he was seeing. “When’s the last time you were in a serious relationship with a woman?”
“When I was seventeen,” he said and then looked up at her as if he didn’t believe he’d said that aloud.
“Seventeen? You’re thirty-five now.” She couldn’t hide the incredulous tone in her voice, then she narrowed her gaze. “Are you being serious with me? Or are you just saying that because you don’t really want to talk about this?”
He sighed. “I don’t really want to talk about this. I’ve found it much easier to live my life without muddying the waters with talk about emotions and commitments that aren’t business related.” When she attempted to ease her hand away from his, he held on to it tighter. “But I’m not lying to you. I would never lie to you, Gemma.”
The serious tone of his voice held her still. “Then it’s just me. You don’t want to try to have a serious relationship with me?”
