Page 35 of For Always
She had to get herself together. There was no room in her life for regrets or even memories. What happened with Austin was over and done with. She’d survived and moved on. The words seemed easier and even true when they were recited in her mind. As for her daily activities, well, that still left a lot to be desired.
Thanks to Austin’s latest text messages and the dreams, Gabriella felt like she was reliving that nightmare all over again. It was so unfair. She’d worked so hard to move past this, to put herself back together after being in love with Austin had shattered her. And none of it had worked. She was still a mess. And if she didn’t get her act together, she was going to show Tyler how broken she really was.
Unless…
Her mother believed in fate. How many times had Beatriz told her children about things happening beyond their control, and how sometimes those things were for the best? Too many for Gabriella to count. What if meeting Tyler was fate? What if Gabriella was meant to be in this place at this time, with this man, so that she could prove that she was finally over Austin and all that he’d done to her?
What if the physical attraction she’d felt toward Tyler from day one was fate and not just hormones?
What if she took him up on his offer and walked next door to see if that’s where fate was leading her?
What…what the hell was she doing?
Gabriella turned off the light and climbed back into bed. Her mind was playing awful tricks on her. First with the bad dreams and then by adding the fantasies of Tyler into those dreams. She was here to do a job, not to get laid.
Even if she did kind of need the latter, pretty badly.
Tyler punched the pillow like it owed him money. He’d been tossing and turning for the last half hour. Sleep wasn’t in the mood for him tonight, something he’d accepted hours ago when he’d finally left the office and come upstairs.
He’d paused by the closed bedroom door and stared at it for endless seconds. Then calling himself the biggest fool, he’d walked the extra steps to his bedroom and closed the door. He told himself to stop thinking about her and the fact that she could have been shot and killed today, because of him. The cold shower he’d taken had been a form of punishment for giving her a reason to stay here and had nothing to do with his hourly hard-on each time he thought about her.
This wasn’t about sex. He’d put her life in danger, all because he hadn’t wanted her to leave. Because he wanted to sleep with her.
The shower hadn’t been punishment enough.
He’d spent the next few hours lying in bed berating himself yet again for the mistakes he continued to make in his life. Tyler knew that was normal. It was a part of growing. He’d read enough motivational books to get the picture. Do things, make mistakes, learn a lesson, stop doing things, and be a better person. That’s how it worked. For some people. For him, it was more like do things, feel bad, do more things, feel worse, do the ultimate thing, and what? Get somebody killed? He’d been cursing himself and holding his pillow over his face in the hope that maybe it would stop his breathing, when he heard her scream.
It was like hearing the gunshots all over again. His heart stopped and he just took off, trying to get to her as fast as he could. To make sure she was alright. It was imperative that she was alright.
Why, he had no idea.
Or rather, he didn’t want to think too hard on that particular idea.
Because it wasn’t for him. He’d known that after the whole Hannah episode. Love, relationships and happy ever after weren’t on the agenda for Tyler West. As for Jagger, well, he’d always won in that department. For years Tyler had thought it ironic that his father considered him the best at ranch work and Jagger hated that. While Jagger always won with the women, Tyler used to hate that.
And she was standing there, holding that pillow up like she was ready to swing it at him or whoever came into that room. She was ready to defend herself, but he’d come to her rescue. It was weird, the feeling that she didn’t really need him to make sure she was okay, slapping against his guilt for putting fear in her life in the first place. He couldn’t quite get a handle on it. Nor could he stop staring at the way her raised arms lifted that already short nightshirt she was wearing so that he could see the pink panties that covered her mound.
The stark fear and pain he saw etched across her face had jerked him out of the fantasy where he was pulling those panties down her long bronzed legs, with his teeth. He’d gone to her and tried to help and she’d told him she didn’t need his help. So he’d left. Yet, even now, as he lay in the bed, in the room next to hers, he still felt like he was standing right there in front of her, struggling for the right words or actions that would…what? Make him the winner where women were concerned this time? Tyler groaned at the sheer stupidity of that thought.
Then he jumped at the soft knock on his door.
He got out of the bed and walked to the door, surprised once again by the sight of her when he opened it.
“You told me to come to you when I was ready. You said you would be waiting,” she said.
She was standing with her shoulders squared, her hands clasped in front of her, and that wicked short nightshirt still playing a mean game of peak-a-boo with him.
“I was waiting,” he admitted as he knew now that was the real reason he hadn’t been able to sleep.
She licked her lips quickly and smiled. “Well, I’m here. And I’m ready.”
Chapter 10
There was no fear in her eyes. No pain etched along her face. Nothing, but natural beauty staring back at him so starkly, Tyler felt like he’d been slapped in the face and commanded to wake up from a dream.
“Are you not ready now?” she asked after he’d closed and locked his bedroom door.
“I’m trying to be sure we’re both on the same page here, Gabriella,” Tyler said.
