Page 54 of For Always
The moment she heard the beeping of the security system Gabriella was fully awake. Oh, who was she kidding? She was never going to fall back asleep after the tense moments she’d just shared with Tyler. As if her night hadn’t already been filled with tossing and turning because of him.
She’d finally put her finger on what had been going on with her emotions for the last week. She was afraid. Because she had fallen for Tyler West. There was no denying it for her after last night. She’d just needed to figure out what she was going to do about it. But now that her heart had begun to race thanks to that incessant beeping, she’d thrown back the covers once again and was headed to the door. She’d just gotten to the top of the stairs when she heard Stephen’s voice.
“It’s bad, Tyler. It’s real bad.”
Gabriella rushed back into her room. She hurried into the bathroom and took a record twenty-five seconds to relieve herself and do a quick teeth brush before she was in the room again. Grabbing what was first in her drawer she pulled on sweatpants, a bra and a better tank top. After pushing her feet into her tennis shoes, she rushed out of the room and down the steps. Tyler’s truck was still parked in front of the house which meant he must have rode with Stephen. They were somewhere on the ranch.
She got into her car and drove to the first place she could think of, the equestrian center. When she pulled up there were four other Jeeps out front and the horses were going crazy. She thought of Brown Eyes, the horse she’d ridden three times now and had grown particularly fond of. And then there was GG, Tyler’s horse. Gabriella hoped they were all okay. She ran until she was through the open doors, her feet skidding to a halt as she looked down to the floor.
“No,” she whispered at the familiar sight of red.
So much red, thick and running like a river. The world around her begin to spin. On shaky legs she managed to take one step and then another and another. Until she was there, seeing, smelling, feeling.
Somebody called her name. Over and over they said her name, but she couldn’t answer them. She couldn’t see them. Couldn’t see anyone or anything but the blood. There was so much blood. Her throat was tight, her breaths coming in quick heavy pants. It was everywhere. On the walls, stuck against the strands of hay, on the floor, and on her tennis shoes. Gabriella lifted her arms in front of her face. They felt like they were weighted down, but she didn’t care. She had to see. Wiggling her fingers and turning her hands from front to back she looked and she saw it, more blood.
Her stomach cramped and she pitched forward, leaning over until her head was at her knees. The putrid scent of blood was stronger and she grew so dizzy she thought she might fall to the floor.
But there was blood on the floor. If she fell it would get on her. It would be on her legs and her thighs, just like it was before. She closed her eyes and tried to wish it all away, but when she opened them again, it was still there.
Her arms and legs streaked with blood. Her chest and midsection, a bloody mess. And her face…Gabriella gasped because it wasn’t her face she saw now. It wasn’t her lying on the floor the way she always ended up in the dream. It was someone else, another woman with so much blood. It was…Hannah.
The first tear fell and then another, until she was screaming with the remembered pain and despair. She moved back, trying to get away. She bumped into something or someone, she didn’t know. The world was still spinning and she was moving, but the blood was following her. She could see it on the ground as she moved and when she looked back the river of blood pooled after her. She had to get away. She needed to get away from it once and for all.
Run!
That’s all she could think was that she needed to run, long, fast and hard! She had to run!
Jumping into her car Gabriella sped off, driving to where she didn’t know. All she knew was that she had to get away from the blood and from all that pain. What had happened to Hannah? Why was she bleeding the way Gabriella had? In her bedroom and at the hospital, Gabriella recalled all the blood and the fear. It had snaked around her throat like a noose and squeezed until she’d thought she would die. But she hadn’t died, not at that moment, at least. She’d spent a few days in the hospital and then she’d returned to her apartment. But the blood had still been there and no matter how hard she’d scrubbed it hadn’t gone away.
Whenever she closed her eyes she saw it. If she inhaled too deeply, she smelled it. When she looked at her hands she imagined it was still there.
Tears came faster now, blurring her vision as she went through the ranch’s front security gate and turned out onto the open road.
Gabriella cried for her pain and how much she’d suffered in the last six months. She cried for the agony of carrying her secret for so long. She cried for Hannah whose body had been mutilated and left like she was nothing more than an animal. She cried because she couldn’t stop.
The car was moving but she had no idea where she was going or what she planned to do once she got there. And her hands were sticky. They were stuck to the steering wheel and when she tried to move them there was a gooey stickiness. She looked down to see what was going on and screamed when she saw more blood.
It was all over the steering wheel, dripping down onto her lap. Glancing up again the sight of blood pouring down onto the windshield like rain was too much for her to handle. She yanked a hand from the steering wheel to turn on the windshield wipers. That did no good, because the blood was too thick and coming down too fast. She couldn’t see so she slammed on the brakes. But they didn’t work.
Nothing worked!
Nothing took the memories or the pain away. Nothing stopped her from hating herself more and more every day and for making the biggest mistake of her life. And nothing was going to stop her from eventually killing herself with guilt and shame.
Nothing except the swerving of the car and the quick tumble down into a brush before the blaring of horns echoed in her mind.
Chapter 14
Gabriella could still hear the horns blaring but she didn’t care. She didn’t care about anything else. Not anymore.
She was so tired. Her body felt week and her mind was empty. The memory had played out. All the feelings she’d kept stored had been cried out of her and now there was nothing. She was still and for the first time in too long, that felt right. It felt like what she was supposed to be doing.
As soon as she resigned herself to that fact Gabriella felt herself being yanked out of the comfort. There was pulling on her arm and then she was weightless, as if she was being carried. She didn’t open her eyes. Somewhere deep inside she knew that if she opened her eyes it wouldn’t be to anything good. So she kept them closed, even when she heard voices around her. They were familiar voices, but she hadn’t heard them recently.
Light permeated the dark corner where she’d found solace and she closed her eyes tighter. She’d thought she had found light before. She’d traveled to someplace new and there had found more light, but that had been wrong too. It was impossible and she should have known that sooner. She should have stopped it before she got in too deep.
“Gabriella! Open your eyes, Gabs! Come on, open your damn eyes!”
It was a male voice. He was yelling but not in anger. There was panic to his tone. Irritation and panic.
