Page 66 of Love Me Carefully
Chapter Fourteen
“Straight to step three,” Leah mumbled, the side of her face cushioned by Terrell’s chest.
“Hmmm?” His eyes didn’t open, and his hands didn’t move from where they rested on her back.
She sighed contentedly. “Nothing, I was just thinking aloud.” She snuggled closer.
But Terrell remembered her silly notion of relationships and the four-step method. “So, I guess we’re moving backward, huh?”
Her head lifted slightly and he knew she was staring at him. He cracked his eyes to see her shocked expression. “I remember your four-step method. I guess we’re moving backwards. Now we’ll start dating.” His tone was casual but his heartbeat accelerated.
“Since we’ve clearly gone off course, I’m not sure where we go next,” she told him honestly.
“We could start a new method,” he told her in a cheerful voice. “First step—admitting the attraction and acting on it, what we’ve been doing the last couple of days.” His arms extended to make a sweeping motion toward their naked bodies. “Second step—admit we’re madly in love.” He waited a beat for her denial. “Third step—marriage and family. Bam! Happily ever after!” He smiled down at her when she made no effort to stop or correct him.
After a moment of regarding the small cleft in his chin she hadn’t noticed until now since his goatee practically concealed it, Leah wondered at his logic. “That sounds as foolish as the plan I’d come up with.”
“Maybe,” he shrugged. “But a man can dream.”
“Yeah, I guess you can.” Lowering her eyes, she thought about his dream and how much she wanted it to be her own.
One arm slid from her back and his finger slightly lifted her chin. “It doesn’t have to be a bad thing, Leah.” He looked into eyes teetering between her deepest desire and the mistakes of the past.
“When my father left, I thought it was the end of the world. My family was destroyed. And I wanted so much to hate him for leaving, but I knew that if he’d stayed, he and my mother would’ve continued to argue. They would have continued to hate each other and, as much as I wanted my family, I wanted the fighting to stop more.”
Terrell absently lifted a braid and twined it around his finger as she continued.
“Then when my mother said she was getting married again, I thought I’d been given another chance. And then she had a baby and I was so excited. Not only did I have a mother and a father again, now I had a little brother. Then that was over too. By her third marriage I stopped hoping that I’d ever have a real family. Mama just kept getting married and having babies and getting divorced. And I kept getting older, swearing I’d never go through that kind of heartache or disappointment.”
“So your four steps were designed to shield you from a broken heart?” He’d already figured that out, but thought it would be good if she admitted it.
“That and the realization that I was no better than she was when it came to commitments.”
“But that’s not true. You’ve committed to your business and from what I can tell you’re doing a great job.”
“That’s a different kind of commitment,” she reasoned. Laying her head back on his chest, she let the rhythm of his steady breathing soothe her. He was listening to her, hearing thoughts she’d never before voiced, seeing a part of her even Nikki had yet to see.
“It’s still a commitment, and it took a lot of guts. You didn’t fail when you opened the shop, so why are you so convinced you’ll fail when you enter a relationship?”
“I thought that’s how things worked. I guess I never really took the time to see if I’d be good at a relationship or not.” In the last few days she’d come to realize that she wasn’t her mother and in so many ways she’d already proved that. Instead of using her mother’s mistakes as a crutch all these years she should’ve used them as a source of inspiration.
As enlightening as her thoughts toward relationships were, they paled in comparison to the fact that she’d never thought of entering a serious relationship, until Terrell. She’d never allowed herself to truly examine what she wanted and how she could get it, until he came along.
“You’ll be good at whatever you put your mind to.” Terrell stared down at her. He wasn’t going to hold back anymore. He wanted so desperately to take his time with her, to get her used to the idea of him loving her, but he now realized that Leah liked to see the whole picture at one time. She needed to see exactly how good they were together on a regular basis before she’d be totally convinced. He had a plan of just how to make that happen.
His hand slid up and down her back, each stroke adding to the flicker of desire growing inside him. He craved her like no addiction ever before. She had filled him completely and the thought of her backing away, refusing to give herself to love, was heart wrenching—something he knew he couldn’t bear.
“I’m afraid,” she whispered against the taut muscles of his chest as the last of her resolve began to crumble.
“I won’t hurt you, Leah. You have to believe that I would never hurt you.”
She believed him, which only added to her despair. “I know.”
Shifting so that he was now on top of her, he stared into her face, his free hand cupping her chin while his other hand remained wrapped around her. “Let me love you, Leah. Let me show you how good we can be together.” His eyes pleaded, his voice begged, his lips, when they touched hers, persuaded.
* * *
It was morning when Leah began to stir. The sweet tropical breeze floating through the room added to her already sated mood. She stretched like a cat, yawning in a release of energy. Her outstretched arms came down, startling her when they landed against something solid.
