Page 76 of Leave It to Us
Seeing both her sisters excited about this pregnancy was something Lana had never really imagined. Just like she’d started to tell Yvonne, she and Isaac had been discussing having a baby for a while, but this pregnancy couldn’t have come as more of a shock to her.
“I still can’t believe you’re pregnant,” Tami said as if she’d been reading Lana’s mind.
Lana removed the plate from the microwave and set it on the island between her and her sisters. “Well, that makes two of us,” she said.
“What do you mean? I thought you said you and Isaac had been planning to start a family,” Yvonne said. She poured herself a cup of coffee and then looked to Tami to see if she wanted one.
Tami nodded and went to the box to find her mug. “I’ll get you some orange juice,” she said to Lana.
“Thanks,” Lana replied as she sat on the stool at the island. “Yeah, we were planning, discussing, but I’d actually begun to worry that weweren’t really moving forward with that discussion. I mean, with the gambling and all that stress.”
“I still can’t believe straitlaced Isaac with his goofy self is out here gambling like he’s a pro,” Tami said, setting the glass of orange juice in front of Lana.
“He wasn’t a pro,” Lana said with a shake of her head. “And that was the problem.” They’d talked about Isaac and his gambling and the toll it had taken on their marriage at length the day she finally admitted to them what was going on, so Tami’s comment didn’t really surprise or agitate her. “But I’d started to feel like his focus was more on that than starting a family, and I was so worried about all that stuff that the family thing wasn’t at the top of my list of priorities. I think I’m about four to six weeks along now, but I’m not totally sure.”
“Well, we’re excited either way,” Tami said when she sat across from them and reached for a napkin. “I’ve never thought about having a baby myself, but I always thought it would be a joyous occasion. I guess it’s not for everyone.”
Lana knew they weren’t going to be able to put this off for long, no matter how much she was beginning to think Yvonne wanted them to. “That probably depends on the circumstances,” she said.
Tami had taken a bite of her biscuit and was now nodding as she reached for the stack of letters she’d brought in with her. “I’m guessing the circumstances around Sallie’s birth were anything but that,” she said while she chewed and attempted to pass the letters to Yvonne.
But Yvonne sipped her coffee and didn’t even look at the letters. So Lana reached for them. She set them beside her on the table and took a bite of her biscuit. “That’s the box of Grandma’s letters you told us about.” That night of the thunderstorm, when they’d all been huddled together in Yvonne’s bed, she’d told them about the letters, but after Tami had said she hadn’t read any love letters, they’d all kind of lost interest.
Tami wiped her mouth after she finished chewing and nodded. “I hadn’t read all of them, just a few. And then I started feeling creepy about it, so I stopped. But after all that Sallie said last night about communicating with letters instead of just having a conversation, I wondered if Grandma had communicated anything about a baby too. So I stayed up half the night, trying to get through them all.”
Yvonne took a bite from her biscuit, still acting disinterested. Lana opened the first envelope because, unlike her big sister, shedidwant to know what they said.
I won’t come back.
That’s all that was written on the first piece of paper she’d pulled from the envelope.
“There’s more,” Tami said with a nod toward the envelope.
Lana reached inside and pulled out another sheet of paper. “She signed over all her parental rights,” she said, frowning. “Her name was Gertrude Jones, and she just gave up her child.”
“I know,” Tami said. “Sad, right? I mean, I guess it’s better than keeping the child and not being able to take care of her or abusing her or whatever. But still, sad.”
Lana moved on to the next envelope. “A letter from Ms.Odessa,” she said as she read it. “Shit,” she muttered when she was finished. Then she picked up her glass and took a long drink. “It was like a transaction.”
“No.” Tami shook her head. “An agreement. Grandma gave Ms.Odessa a baby, and they agreed to keep it a secret. No lawyers, no documents—just a verbal agreement.”
“And just like that, our half sister grows up thinking she’s someone else’s child,” Lana said, feeling a wave of unexpected sadness.
For a moment the three of them were silent. Then Yvonne spoke. “I don’t know how to feel about this. I sat at that table last night, listening to her, watching her, and I just don’t know.” She picked up hermug again and brought it to her lips, but this time Lana noticed that her fingers trembled.
“I think Mama knew,” Lana said, because there was no use holding it back. Not that she’d even considered that in the first place. She’d known that they needed to talk about this, and she’d planned to do it over breakfast, but it would’ve been really nice if they could’ve just continued to talk about being happy about her pregnancy. “I think Daddy told her when he found out.”
Yvonne shook her head. “No, she would’ve put him out the moment she found out about this. You know what she used to always tell us about men—not to trust them. They could be good in bed but useless for anything else, which is why we should focus on our personal success making us happy.”
“Yeah, well, how’s that working out for her?” Tami asked snidely.
Before Yvonne could reply and the two of them could start their usual bickering, Lana continued, “Not if she was already pregnant with Tami.”
They were silent again.
“Mama was so angry after Tami was born,” Lana said finally. “She worked even more, and Daddy tried even harder to give us everything—his time, attention, love.”
“That would explain why she hates me, I guess. Although I’m not the ‘other’ child; I was hers too.” Tami’s voice wavered, and Lana reached across the island until she extended her hand.
