Page 15 of Touch of Smoke
Ro’s beautiful home, she corrected because that place was more than just a house. Or rather it would be. She could see it so clearly in every room she’d walked into when they’d finally gotten around to a full tour. The bedrooms were large, the deck and yard were too. Definitely a home for entertaining. There was an amazing basement where Ro mentioned creating a home gym. He’d selected one of the rooms upstairs for his home office and she’d quietly envied the room at the back of the house with the window giving a fabulous view of a thick line of trees amidst the crisp blue sky. That would be a perfect office as well.
Going straight back to her bedroom, she dropped down onto her bed, falling back to stare up at the ceiling. “Girl, what have you done?”
She’d not only slept with Ro again, but she’d also asked him to help her get her new business venture off the ground. The new business venture that she’d been keeping quiet because shewasn’t convinced she could make it happen. But Ro believed in her. There hadn’t been a moment’s hesitation or doubt in his voice as he asked her questions about her vision. Then, when he’d come back with how he could help her achieve the vision, she’d been amazed and excited, and more in love with this man than she’d already spent half her life being.
A love that she never thought would see the light of day. Especially not after their first night together all those years ago.
“We can’t do this to our families, Ro,” she said sitting up in the hotel bed. She pulled her legs to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. Then, rested her chin on her knees. “Donyell and I have been friends since we were twelve years old. I’ve been in and out of your parents’ house like I was a member of the family since that time. My uncle and my mother still haven’t gotten past that awful summer when you were sent away and I’m not sure your parents have forgiven either of them for all the awful things that were said.” She released a heavy sigh. “There are so many more people to consider in this than just you and I.”
Glancing back, she noticed he hadn’t moved from his position on his back, arms folded behind his head. The sheet rode low on his hips leaving his deep mocha-hued chest bare for her admiration. But she didn’t look longer than it took to see that he was staring up at the ceiling and not bothering to look at her. Returning her chin to her knees she held back tears. The sadness that had enveloped her the moment she’d opened her eyes to see sunlight trickling through that slit in the hotel curtains that hadn’t been closed all the way, now rested heavily on her shoulders.
Last night had been everything she’d dreamed and then some. Every touch from Ro, every whisper in her ear, kiss on her lips and every other inch of her body, had all been as deliciously addicting as she’d feared. She wanted nothing morethan to lay in this bed with him until check-out time and then spend the rest of the day with him. And possibly tomorrow and the next day. But how was that even possible?
“You’re going back to Denver,” she said as if answering her own question. “That’s where your life is, where it’s been since you graduated from college. My life is here. So how would this even work if we wanted it to?”
He didn’t respond.
“It can’t,” she answered finally. “We can’t.”
Long moments later when he still hadn’t spoken, she pushed the sheet off her legs and eased out of the bed. She showered, slipped back into her dress and held her shoes in one hand by their straps. Ro was still lying in the bed, still staring at the ceiling as if that was where he’d rather be. She stood at the end of the bed looking down at him. “You’re not going to say anything at all?” she asked, praying her voice wouldn’t crack with the weight of emotion she felt.
He sat up slowly then, letting his arms fall to his sides as he shook his head. “There’s not much to say. You have it all figured out.”
“I didn’t say that,” she replied.
He tilted his head. “Didn’t you? You had every obstacle in our path outlined and bullet pointed the second you woke up. I was only expected to listen as you informed me of the case you’d previously prepared against us.”
She inhaled and released that breath with a heavy sigh. “You’re not being fair and none of what I said was wrong.”
“I didn’t say it was wrong,” he told her. “But I also didn’t say I agree with any of it either.”
She wouldn’t ask now if he agreed or disagreed, didn’t know what she was going to do with whatever the answer was.
“And look, I’m not in the habit of repeating myself. So, I’m not gonna sit here and tell you I want you again. I’vebeen telling you that all damn night. And it obviously doesn’t matter.”
“I didn’t say that either,” she said quietly.
“Yeah, Sariya, you did. As you sat here and pointed out every reason we couldn’t be together, you told me it didn’t matter what I wanted. What I thought. How I felt. None of it mattered.”
“We have to consider the other people in our life,” she insisted.
He pushed back the sheet, revealing his gloriously naked body as he stood. “No, you have to consider them. I have to live my life for me. So, you’re all ready to go and I’m not going to stop you.”
And he didn’t. He walked right past her and into the bathroom where he shut the door soundly behind him.
That had been the last time she’d seen him until that Christmas he’d come home and she’d stopped by the Simmons’ house on her way to her mother’s for dinner. They’d been back to being friendly with each other by then. Had exchanged numerous text messages in the time he’d been back in Denver, so it hadn’t been as awkward as it could have been. Still, she’d known the moment she laid eyes on him that day that she still loved him.
Just as she’d known when she’d seen him sitting in that booth at the lounge that the love was still there, still beating as strong as each thump of her heart.
“But nothing’s changed,” she whispered into her quiet bedroom. All the bullet points, as he’d called them, that she’d given him that night, were the same. Well, except for one very big one—Ro was back in Baltimore for good. He’d bought a house, had a new job, he was planting roots. And what was she doing?
Well, what she wasn’t doing was laying on this bed stressing all damn day. She’d showered at Ro’s before pulling on her clothes from last night. Now, she stood, removed those clothes and headed into her bathroom for a long hot bath. After that, she would find something to eat and sit down with her laptop to start mapping out the wellness center she planned to open. With Ro’s help.
A small sigh escaped as she leaned over to turn on the water. Ro was back for good. There was no running from him, or her feelings for him this time. She was going to have to get used to that.
sariya
. . .
