Page 52 of A Lifetime in 30 Days
Grabbing a towel that had miraculously remained in place on the rack during the search, Vanna dried her face and turned off the water. Her fingers had begun to shake, but she tried to breathe her way past the irritation currently swirling through her. “He didn’t get here in time to save me from the humiliation of watching strangers go through all of my personal belongings. And he’s not here right now. Not saving me at this moment.”
Jamaica tilted her head. “And that’s even more weird. Where is he? Why hasn’t he called or returned your text?”
Turning around to lean against the vanity once more, Vanna wrapped her arms around herself. “Why are you doing this? I thought you liked Aden. He answered all of your questions that night we went bowling, so I figured he’d passed your test. You even hugged him good night when you left the pool party.” Vanna didn’t understand what was going on, and this was the absolute last thing she needed going through her mind right now. Her priority for the moment should be staying the hell out of jail. Not second-guessing the man who—despite how many times she told him she didn’t need it—had been showing up for her in a way no man ever had before.
“I like him as long as he’s good to you and goodforyou. But if he’s here to fuck with you, to pick up where Caleb left off in destroying your life, then he’s public enemy number one to me. And you know that,” Jamaica said seriously.
Vanna did know that, mostly because she felt the same way about Jamaica and Ronni. They were super close, ride-or-dies, 110 percent devoted to each other. So there was no way Jamaica would say something that she knew would hurt Vanna’s feelings unless she wholeheartedly believed it could be true. Which was the only reason Vanna leteverything Jamaica had just said settle into her mind without completely dismissing them.
“I don’t believe he would do that,” Vanna said with a shake of her head. “Why would he do that?”
“He met you first,” Jamaica said with a shrug. “Didn’t you say he told you that?”
“It’s true, J,” she said, growing more annoyed with this conversation. “He didn’t have to say it; I was there, remember? And so were you. I told you after I bumped into him and you were with me the night I saw him again at the step show.”
“But what if this is get-back?” Jamaica asked. “What if setting you up is a way to get back at you for choosing Caleb?”
“You really believe that?” Vanna asked. “It doesn’t even make sense that he would be that tore up over me all this time. We didn’t hold hands, kiss—nothing but bump into each other. And before you say it, I know there are guys that act stupid over less, but Aden’s not like that.”
Jamaica raised that brow again. “You sure? Because you thought Caleb—”
Vanna held up a hand then, because she knew exactly where Jamaica was going with that sentence. And she couldn’t take it. Not at this moment, not after all that had happened today—hell, this month. She just couldn’t take it. “I can’t do this again, J,” she said quietly.
Ronni stepped into the doorway. “Do what?”
Jamaica sighed heavily. “I told her what I just told you I was thinking about Aden.”
Vanna must have missed that part of the conversation going on in her bedroom while she was picking up toiletries off the bathroom floor. But Granny had heard it, and now Vanna wondered what she thought about Jamaica’s assumptions too. Probably that her granddaughter just couldn’t seem to get this right. Because that’s exactly how Vanna was feeling right now.
“Ooooh,” Ronni said, a sad look covering her face.
“Guess you believe it too,” Vanna said. She let her head fall back and stared up at the ceiling, praying the tears that formed wouldn’t fall. “Well, I can’t believe it.”
“V, listen to me,” Jamaica started again. “I don’t want Aden to be a bad guy either. I want you to have every ounce of happiness you deserve. But I also want you to be smart about this. Just let the facts marinate for a minute.”
“No,” Vanna said, bringing her gaze back to the two closest friends she’d ever had. “I can’t. Because if I let those facts marinate, if I believe what you’re saying, if I admit that a small part of me has already grabbed hold of those words and is ready to run to the police with every one of them, I’ll have to admit I’ve failed yet again.”
“What?” Ronni asked.
Vanna closed her eyes, opened them, and felt the warmth of the tears streaming down her cheeks. “I can’t do this,” she said. “I can’t do this relationship shit. It’s just not for me. Love and happy endings. Through good times and bad. I’m not built for it, so I should just give it up.”
“What are you talking about?” Jamaica asked, coming in closer to wrap an arm around Vanna’s shoulders.
Ronni stepped farther into the bathroom as well, stopping to stand just in front of Vanna.
Vanna gave a wry chuckle and reached a hand up to knuckle a tear away. “You’re right about one part of this. The part you started to say about Caleb. You would think I’d learned my lesson, but obviously not. If what you’re suggesting about Aden is true, then I’m just not meant to be loved and treated right, I guess. But damn, I wanted it. You know? I wanted it. After all I’ve been through, all I put up with during my years with Caleb, I figured I fuckin’ deserved it!” She huffed. “Joke’s on me, huh?”
“No,” Ronni said, taking Vanna’s hands and holding them tightly in her own. “The joke is definitely not on you. Because you do deserve love and happiness, Van. If ever I knew anyone who did, it’s you.”
“And you’ll have it,” Jamaica added. “You will have all the things you’ve ever wanted, because you’re strong enough and bold enough to go out there and get them. Don’t let this bullshit deter you. You’re better than that, V.”
Shewasbetter than that. She knew that. She was stronger and smarter. Hell! Vanna had told herself all these same things over and over again. She’d read those stupid cards on her dresser multiple times, until some of them had grown worn with use. Just last week, she’d thought she needed to go online and find herself a new box of them. But what the hell for? Why was she plucking a card out of a box each day just to tell her how to feel on that day, when every time she allowed herself to breathe freely around a guy, some wild and deceitful shit popped off?
Why was life always delivering these swift—hell no, these debilitating—kicks her way? Why was she the one who was supposed to bear all the bad breaks and figure out how to keep standing after each one?
“This is not how my celebratory month is supposed to be going,” she said on a half laugh, half sob. More tears poured down her face, and she eased a hand away from Ronni’s to swipe at them.
“Then don’t let it go that way,” Jamaica said.
