Page 53 of A Lifetime in 30 Days
“And besides, this is just a thought. J doesn’t have any real proof about any of this. She was just spouting off things like she usually does,” Ronni said.
“Okay, shade,” Jamaica said as she looked over to Ronni.
“You know what I mean,” Ronni replied. “And you know Jamaica is always suspicious. Hell, we all can be suspicious when it comes to these trifling-ass men out here. But ifyoubelieve there’s something to what she’s saying, then just ask him. If you want to trust him, trust what’s happening between the two of you, then do that. Just because a thing looks bad doesn’t mean it is.”
“Is that like ‘a rose is still a rose even if it smells different’?” Jamaica asked.
Both Vanna and Ronni looked at Jamaica now.
“You mean ‘A rose by any other name would smell as sweet’?” Vanna asked, her brow furrowed.
Jamaica waved a hand and pursed her lips. “Look, you’re the one into all those quotes and nonsense. I just keep it real. I like Aden. But I’m not blind, and neither are you. So just ask him and see what he says.”
Ronni nodded.
Vanna thought it was worth an ask too, and that was the problem. If she believed any of this could be true, then she didn’t trust Aden. Didn’t believe he genuinely wanted to be with her and that they had a future together, as he’d asked her to do at the party on Saturday. But Vanna didn’t know if that was something she could ever believe in again.
Chapter 16
Vanna’s legs were crossed at the ankle and swaying from side to side as she sat on her couch at seven thirty Monday night. Aden had finally called her about a half hour after Jamaica and Ronni had left. Jack and his crew left a little while after that, and after Granny had taken Frito for his evening walk, she’d gone to her room with a glass of Sprite and two of the mini cupcakes that were left over from the pool party.
“Hey,” he’d said when she answered on the fourth ring. From the moment Jamaica had planted the seeds of doubt, an internal battle inside her had been brewing. “Sorry, I’m just seeing your text. Cell service was spotty in Crystal City. Guess our meeting location was too close to some space the Pentagon had marked as restricted. I’m just getting on the road now and finally got some bars, so I hurried to call you back. Are you okay? What happened? Have you talked to Jovani?”
Again, Aden didn’t owe her an explanation as to why he hadn’t immediately responded to her text. They weren’t boyfriend and girlfriend, and they definitely weren’t husband and wife. Those were the only scenarios where she felt she had a right to explanations or commitments of any type. They were ... They were just lovers, and with that came zero strings.
Just as she acknowledged earlier, this was how she carried all her interactions with men post-separation. What she hadn’t wanted to accept was that deep down, she really did want it to be more with Aden. No, she hadn’t told him—or her girls—that, because protectingherself from hurt and scrutiny had become second nature. But for the third time—because she considered wanting and losing her mother in almost the same category—it was clear that she wasn’t meant to get what she wanted.
It was that train of thought that had been festering in her mind since her girls had left.
“It’s fine,” she said dryly. “And I’m fine.”
He did that thing where he grew silent, and this time it irked the hell out of her. Truthfully, it added to the mountain of things that were pissing her off. All the things that were beyond her control to stop and, therefore, she had to suffer through. “Is that all you called to say?” The question was terse, and while a small part of her said she was being unfair, the bigger part of her screamedFuck him and everybody else who was causing drama in my life!
“No. I asked you some questions,” he replied. “Do you want to answer them over the phone or when I get there?”
“I didn’t invite you over,” she snapped.
“True,” was his simple response.
More silence.
“Can I come over to see if you’re all right, Savannah?”
No. Tell him no!Tell him to take his smoothies and workouts and go straight to his own home. And stay there. Forever. Or at least for the next fifteen years.Because try as she might, she couldn’t take this. She didn’t have one ounce of strength to power through this time.
She sighed, knowing that was the coward’s way out. And she wasn’t a coward. Never had been, and wasn’t about to let this man take her there.
“Yes,” she said.
“I’ll be there in forty-five minutes.”
He disconnected the call before she could say another word.
So she’d put on sweatpants, a T-shirt, and a pair of fuzzy socks; left her bedroom, which, for whatever reason, still felt like the least invaded space in her house now; and plopped her behind on the couch to wait.
When the doorbell rang, her head jerked toward the plywood wall, and she sighed. For what felt like the billionth time in the last few hours, she considered just walking away from all this. Cutting her losses and moving the hell on. Aden had only been back in her life a couple weeks; surely she wouldn’t be heartbroken if he was no longer in it. Especially since it was causing her so much doubt. The fact that there’d been good with him in these weeks as well didn’t go unnoticed. It was just harder to hold on to that positive in the midst of this current storm.
Another fact that didn’t go unnoticed was that she didn’t want Granny disturbed any more than she had already been today. So she stood and went to answer the door. When she opened it, Aden gave her a tentative smile that she didn’t have the energy to return. She turned and walked back up the stairs and resumed her position on the couch.
