Page 48 of Play Hard
“I love you,” I repeated in a breathy moan. “I love you, Jordan. I love you.”
NOAH
I could watch her sleep for hours. Ihadbeen watching her sleep for the last hour. Scenes from last night at the lake house blended with those scenes from years ago, twisting what should’ve been sweet dreams with this sexy ass woman lying beside me, into a nightmare that had my eyes shooting open. It had taken a few minutes to regulate my heart rate and my mind, convincing them both that the end result in the latest incident wasn’t real. That’s when I’d turned onto my side, propping an elbow up and resting my head in my hand so I could stare at her.
Serra was right here. She wasn’t dead.
The number of times I’d had to recite those last three words to myself throughout the night was ridiculous, yet necessary. I’d been so fuckin’ afraid of losing her last night. Terrified that the bastard hovering over her would kill her the way that one had killed my mother. I hadn’t even bothered to say shit to that dude, just fucked him up the way he deserved.
But back to Serra. She was so pretty when she slept. She’d left one of those bonnet things at my place a week ago. She had no idea that when she wasn’t here, I picked it up, ran my fingers over the silky purple fabric, and even put it to my nose to sniff. Whatever hair products she used smelled good as shit. At some point during the night, probably after the second round of after-shower sex, she’d put it on. Now it was pressed against the pillow along with the side of her face. Long, natural lashes were like dark wisps against her golden skin tone. Her lips were slightly parted, and the sheet and comforter were pulled up over her shoulders. It had been by her request each night she was here to turn on the ceiling fan even with the air conditioner blasting. Only for her to burrow under the covers every time like she was in the Antarctic.
I couldn’t help the smile that spread anymore than I could help the warmth that filled my chest with the knowledge that I could simply lean forward and put my lips on her. How many nights had I wished that were a possibility? How many days had I wondered what she was doing, how she was feeling, if her life were turning out the way she wanted it to? My thoughts had always returned to her, no matter how far apart we were, or how long it had been since we’d spoken. She’d come into my life and taken up a space in my heart that was never intended to be filled. And she’d never left that space.
“It’s creepy to stare.” I watched her lips move as she spoke and my grin spread. She hadn’t opened her eyes or moved, just let me know that I was caught.
“You shouldn’t be so damn pretty then.” I brushed the back of my fingers over her cheek, something I’d wanted to do since I set my eyes on her this morning.
Her eyes fluttered open at my touch and damn if that didn’t have my heart beating just a little bit faster. “You know you don’t have to sweet talk me to get sex, right?” Her lips tilted into a slowsmile. “I mean, yeah, that probably makes me sound easy, but whatever.”
“And you know I’m well aware of the things I can say to get sex from you and ain’t none of them sweet.” I couldn’t wait another second, I leaned in to drop a soft kiss on her forehead. “You’re sweet, but not the shit I say to you when I’m inside of you.”
One of her hands emerged from beneath the covers and she clasped the wrist of the hand close to her face. Turning, she dropped a kiss to my palm. “Sometimes it is.” When she returned her gaze to me it was with a wink, and I moved until I was close enough to pull her into my arms.
She was tucked into me, both of us still on our sides, but now with her face buried in my chest, and I sighed. Resting my chin on the top of her head, I squeezed her tight. Not so much as to have her complaining, but enough to hopefully send the message that this was where she belonged. I knew it was long past time for me to stop waiting for her to realize what this was. We’d finally shared the words last night, but in the light of day, there was still ambiguity. It hung over us like a heavy fog and I needed that shit to be clear.
“No morning sex for you today,” I said quickly, then reached down to slap a hand on her bare ass. I loved when she agreed with me and slept naked. It wasn’t even solely about the ease of being able to roll over and slip inside of her at any point during the night. It was the fact that when I did roll over and simply touched her, I immediately felt the softness of her skin, everywhere. That shit was addictive as hell.
She squealed. “You sure about that?” Her hand eased between us. and she gripped my already hard dick. “’Cause either this is mornin’ wood, or you’re thinking about something other than what we’re having for breakfast.”
Groaning because her touch always felt so damn good, I closed my eyes then dropped a quick kiss to the top of her head. “I’m always thinking about you, so I’m basically always in this condition. And that, my sweetness, is all your fault. Your pussy shouldn’t be so addictive. Especially for a person like me who only has experience with the bad addictions.”
She shook her head, pressing her hands to my chest. In response to her actions, I pulled back so I could see her face. “Don’t do that,” she said.
“Don’t do what?”
“Make light of what were some really hard times for you.” It was her turn to brush her fingers over my cheek. “True, they weren’t your best moments, but we all fall at some point. It’s how we get back up that defines us.”
I pulled that hand to my mouth and kissed her fingers. “You’re right.” I nodded. “You’re absolutely right, my love. Now get up so we can get dressed, I want to take you somewhere.”
I didn’t give her a chance to debate my words but climbed out of the bed first.
“Okay, but wherever we’re going better include food, and coffee…lots of coffee!” she yelled as I walked into the bathroom.
If she thoughtit was strange that we were at a cemetery an hour and a half later, she didn’t mention it. We’d stopped by Maggie’s to pick up breakfast after she’d had the forethought to say, “Let’s order it to go. I don’t feel like any stares or questions about last night just yet.”
I knew she was considering me in that equation as well. For a few seconds, I’d considered telling her no, that we’d go in and sit at what we’d dubbed our favorite booth by the window and havethe big breakfast and coffee she wanted. I’d gotten the stares and been the topic of this town’s gossip for far too long to let that shit bother me now. But I agreed. I didn’t want any intrusions on us today.
So we enjoyed our bacon, egg, and cheese bagels with large caramel coffees that I warned would cost us an extra thirty minutes in the gym tomorrow. Since I’d parked the truck near the trail where we walked, it seemed like a fitting thing to say. Not that it stopped Serra from eating every bite of her sandwich and moaning each time she sipped the coffee because she said Maggie knew just what “extra” caramel meant.
When I helped her out of the truck, she gave me a small smile, but I could almost see the questions in her eyes. Was it strange to bring her here? Probably, but there were things I wanted to say to Serra, and I knew they needed to be said here.
We walked for less than ten minutes before I stopped and stuffed my hands into the front pockets of my jeans.
“Christine Denise Jordan. Loving Mother.” Serra read the headstone a few feet in front of us. “She liked butterflies. It’s beautiful.”
I stared at the black stone carved into the shape of a butterfly with intricate details and wording in soft white. I nodded, assuming she had looked up to see me. I couldn’t take my eyes off the stone. Not yet. “When I was seven, I got into a fight with Gary Mendleson. He picked his nose and wiped that shit on my arm, and I busted his nose.”
“Oh my,” she said, then gave a little chuckle. “I’m gonna say that was well-deserved.”
