Page 3 of Seeds of Christmas
I try to rebuild the smile, make it charming and dismissive. “What? No. I just think it sounds like a great opportunity for hands-on learning and?—”
“Carter.”
I shrug, trying to look casual even though my chest is tight. “Maybe. But, at least, I’ll be running toward something productive. Geothermal data, right? Very important.”
Professor Bam studies me for a long moment. Then she does something unexpected.
She laughs. “You know what, Carter? You’re exhausting. But I like you.”
“You know, I wouldn’t normally offer this opportunity to a student like you,” she says finally. “Someone who’s missed as much class as you have. This is an important assignment.”
My stomach sinks. Here it comes. The rejection.
“But,” she continues, “your brother was one of my best students. Dominic took my Advanced Petrology seminar. Brilliant kid. Passionate about the work. He used to stay after class to debate igneous formation processes.”
“When I heard what happened—” She stops, clears her throat. “I’m sorry. That was a terrible loss. For everyone who knew him. And I can see it’s been especially hard on you.”
I can’t speak. Can only nod.
“So here’s the thing.” She leans forward, elbows on her desk. “I know grief. I know what it does to people. How it makes everything feel impossible. How just getting out of bed feels like climbing Everest.” She taps the folder in front of her. “But I also knew Dominic. And I don’t think he’d want you to throw away your education because you’re in pain. I think he’d want you to fight. Even when it’s hard.”
“I don’t know if I can,” I admit quietly.
“That’s why I’m offering this,” she says. “Not because you’ve earned it. You haven’t. But because I think you’ve got what Dominic had—that same spark, that same potential. You just need a reason to give a damn again. And maybe—maybe getting outside… that’ll help you figure out if this is really what you want.”
She’s right. She’s completely, uncomfortably right.
“The data is critical,” she continues, her voice firm again. “This research is going to the environmental board in February. So I need you to understand—I’m not giving you a free pass. I’m giving you a chance. One chance. If you screw this up, if youdon’t take it seriously, if you let the other student down...” She levels me with a look that could cut glass. “Then you fail my class, and you’re on your own. No second chances. No appeals. Do you understand?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“And if you try to coast on that smile one more time, I will personally make sure you retake this class next semester with the 8 AM lab section.”
I actually shudder. “That’s a genuine threat. I respect that.”
“I thought you might.” She pulls out another sheet of paper. “Your partner on this project is Rhiannon Pierce. She’s in your cohort. Very serious student. Very organized. Probably the exact opposite of you in every way.”
“Sounds like a match made in heaven.”
“Sounds like she’s going to keep you from screwing this up.” Professor Bam slides the paper across the desk. “Meeting tomorrow, 8 AM, here. I’ll go over protocols with both of you. Don’t be late.”
“8 AM,” I repeat, already making a mental note to set seven alarms.
“And Carter?” She waits until I look up. “I know you’re running. But sometimes running toward something is just as good as running away from something. This could actually help. If you let it.”
I want to make a joke. Deflect with humor. Keep things light.
Instead, I just nod.
“Thank you, Professor. For... giving me a chance anyway.”
“Thank you for finally dropping the act.” She stands, extends her hand. “Don’t make me regret this.”
I shake her hand, and her grip is firm. “I won’t. I promise.”
“We’ll see.”
I’m at the door when she calls after me.
