Page 96 of Seeds of Christmas
He kisses me back like he’s saying his own things.
I’m not going anywhere.You’re safe with me.I see you.I want you.Exactly as you are. I’m sorry I walked away.
We break apart just long enough to breathe, foreheads pressed together, and then we’re kissing again.
My back hits the doorframe. His hands are on my waist, pulling me closer. I make a sound that should be embarrassing but isn’t, because he makes one too.
Carter kisses like he’s giving. Like he’s grateful. Like he can’t quite believe I’m real and he’s allowed to touch me.
When we finally break apart for real, we’re both breathing hard.
“We’re both scared,” I say, “We’re both messy. We’re both figuring it out. But maybe—maybe we can be scared and messy together.”
“I like that plan.”
“It’s not really a plan.”
“Even better.” He grins, looking boyish again.
“Shut up.”
“Make me.”
So I kiss him again.
And again.
And somewhere between the kissing and the laughing, we end up inside my room, door closed, sitting on the terrible motel bed with our foreheads pressed together.
“I’m still wearing your sweatshirt,” I say eventually.
“I noticed.”
“I forgot to give it back.”
“Did you, really?”
“Okay, no. I definitely didn’t forget. I might have been enjoying it.”
His smile could light up the entire room. “Yeah?”
“It smells like you.”
“Is that a good thing?”
“It’s a very good thing.” I take his hand, lacing our fingers together. “I missed you. Even though you didn’t go anywhere. Even though it was my fault. I missed you.”
“I missed you too.” He squeezes my hand. “So much. These past two days have been hell.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I know. Me too.” He kisses my forehead. “But we’re here now. We’re figuring it out.”
“We are.”
“And tomorrow, we go back to Site One, collect our final readings, and then head back to campus.”
My stomach drops. “Campus.”
