Page 97 of Seeds of Christmas

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“Where we will continue to see each other,” he says firmly. “Where I will take you on actual dates. Where we will figure out what this looks like in the real world.”

We sit in comfortable silence for a while. His arm around me. My head on his chest. His heartbeat steady under my ear.

“Can I stay?” he asks eventually.

I smile against his shirt. “Yes.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Stay.”

20

RHIANNON

The drive back to campus feels different than the drive out.

When we left, I was running from something. Now, it’s the opposite. Carter and I are dating.

Carter’s hand rests on my thigh as he drives, his thumb tracing absent circles that ground me.

The mountains disappear behind us, and the landscape shifts back to familiar territory. Highway exits I recognize. Buildings I’ve seen a hundred times. The university water tower appearing on the horizon.

My phone has been buzzing steadily for the last hour. I’ve been ignoring it.

“You should probably check that,” Carter says gently. “Make sure it’s not an emergency.”

I pull out my phone. Seventeen new messages.

Mom

When are you getting back? We need to talk.

Matthew said you should be home today. He’s very eager to see you.

Meg:

GIRL. Where are you?? Crazy EX Matthew came by the house yesterday looking for you. Call me.

Seriously, Rhi. Call me. He’s being weird.

Matthew:

Can’t wait to see you today. We have so much to talk about. I’ll wait at your place.

I’m here. Take your time muffin, I’m not going anywhere.

Heat flashes through me—anger, fear, something tangled and dark. I want to reach through the phone and shatter every expectation he has of me. I want to yell. But I’ve never learned how to have anger without apology, so it sits heavy in my throat instead.

“He’s at myhouse,” I say, voice tight.

Carter’s hand tightens on my thigh. “Okay.”

“He says he’s waiting for me. That he’s not leaving.”

“Okay,” Carter says again, his voice carefully controlled. “What do you want to do?”

I could ask Carter to drop me off at campus. Deal with this alone. Keep him out of it.

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