Page 99 of Seeds of Christmas
“I know things have been... difficult,” he starts.
Deep breath. “Matthew, you need to leave. We’re over, ok?”
“Please, just hear me out.” His voice is gentle, the tone he uses when he wants something. “I’ve been thinking a lot about us. About what went wrong. And I want to fix it. I want to fix us.”
“There is no us to fix. I broke up with you.”
He takes a step closer, his eyes pleading. “Don’t say that. We’ve been together for years, Rhi. That has to mean something.I know we both messed up sometimes, but I’m willing to do the work. Couples therapy, whatever you need.”
“I don’t need therapy with you. I need you to accept that we’re done.”
“But why?” His voice cracks slightly, and I hate that he can still do this—make me feel guilty. “What happened to us? We were good together. We had plans.”
“We couldn’t grow together, Matthew. I just didn’t see it clearly. We hold each other back. I am sorry, but it’s done.”
His jaw tightens for just a moment before he smooths his expression again. “Is this about thatguy? The one you brought here?”
Hot blood flashes through me. Was hewatchingus get out of the car?
“This is about me. About what I want. And I don’t want this anymore.”
“Rhi, come on.” He reaches for my hand, and I pull back. His eyes flash with something darker before he covers it with a smirk. “You’re not thinking clearly. You’re stressed with school, with your research?—”
“I’m thinking more clearly than I ever have.”
“We can work through this,” he insists, his voice taking on an edge. “Our families—they’re counting on us. Your parents love me. My parents adore you. You really want to throw all of that away?”
“I don’t appreciate you lying to our families, telling them we’re ‘working through things’ when I’ve told you multiple times we’re done.”
He scoffs, and there it is—the condescension I’ve been waiting for. The real Matthew. “Look, I didn’t want to break up our families over your little hissy fit. You’ll be fine soon. You always are. This is just another one of your moods.”
“No.” My voice is steady, strong. “This isn’t a mood. This isn’t a phase. We’re done, Matthew. Accept it.”
His expression shifts entirely now, the softness gone. “You’re making a mistake.”
“The only mistake I made was not ending this sooner. We’ve been on and off for years. And now we’re off. Permanently.”
“You’re being childish.” His voice is sharper now. “And dramatic. One rough patch and you run away? That’s not how relationships work,Rhiannon.”
Hearing him say my full name like that—like I’m a child being scolded—makes something snap inside me.
“Don’t do that,” I say. “Don’t talk to me like I’m the problem.”
“I’m not saying anything?—”
“You are. You’re saying I’m childish. Dramatic. Throwing away something good.” I step forward. “But, Matthew, what we hadwasn’tgood. Not for me.”
“That’s not true?—”
“You decided what I should wear. Who I should hang out with. How I should spend my time.” My voice is shaking now, but not with fear. With anger. “You made me feel guilty for wanting space. For having interests you didn’t approve of. For not being available every second of every day.”
“I was trying to help you?—”
“You were trying to control me!” The words explode out. “And I let you. I let you make me smaller and smaller until I didn’t even recognize myself anymore. Until I stopped doing things I loved because they made you uncomfortable. Until I apologized for things that weren’tevenmy fault because it was easier than arguing with you.”
Matthew’s face is red now. “That’s not fair, Rhi. I loved you. I was trying to take care of you.”
“Just stop! It’s over! I don’t love you anymore Matthew. And I never will again.”
