Page 110 of The Earl Takes All
“A woman with a great deal of stamina and creativity might have fun putting this place to rights,” she said.
“The challenge for her would be convincing Marsden to let her change anything at all. Every decaying inch of the place is a memorial to his wife.”
“How can he stand to see everything deteriorating?”
“I don’t believe he does. I think he sees it exactly as it was when she was alive. By never letting anyone touch it, he ensured that he never saw it any differently.”
“He must have loved her immeasurably.”
“To him, she was everything. I’m not certain if that’s a good or bad thing.”
She didn’t want to even try to provide an answer to that question. “Is she buried here?”
Edward pointed off to his left. “In a small cemetery over that hill.”
“I suppose you explored there.”
“We explored everywhere.”
He helped her step over a low bit of brush and onto what had once been a path. The boughs of the trees provided shade. She supposed he was worried about the sunshine causing her to have freckles, though she’d never had a single one in her entire life. Or maybe he wanted to escort her farther into the trees so he could kiss her.
But if that was the case, he was taking his sweet time, as he had yet to do anything more than face her and hold her gaze.
“Albert knew,” he said quietly. “He knew I had feelings for you.”
She blinked, shook her head, tried to make sense of what he’d said. “How do you know?”
“Because he told me to take you to Switzerland.”
“I don’t understand. As I told you before, I’ve never considered traveling there. He and I never talked about it. Why would he say that?”
“Because I can marry you there.”
While her heart hammered, everything else within her went still, quiet. She’d heard the words but they made no sense.
“Marsden knows people, in our situation, who went to Switzerland to marry. Why would Albert tell me to take you there unless he knew I would want to marry you?”
“Perhaps he simply wanted you to watch out for me, and he thought it would be easier if we were married. He trusted you, Edward, and he hadn’t left a will.”
“Maybe.”
“But you don’t think so.”
He shook his head. “I think he knew. I think he always knew. He was always encouraging me to spend more time with him, with you. I think he was aware of what it was costing me to keep my distance. Costing him, me, maybe even you. He understood that my love for him would ensure that I never did anything untoward where you were concerned. He was trying to give me permission to be more myself.”
Possibly. She remembered the final entry in his journal, how she’d read silently instead of sharing it with Edward. “In his journal, he wrote that he had yet to write his will because he’d been struggling with whom to name as guardian of his child. During your time together in Africa, he came to the conclusion there was no one better than you to care for those he loved.”
“I have to admit, Julia, that while we’ve been together, I have not been clear of conscience. A small part of me nagged that I was betraying my brother.”
“I must be honest that I’ve not been completely clear of conscience either,” she said. “Perhaps that’s the reason London was able to open my eyes so clearly to the myriad ways that what we were doing was wrong.”
“But if I am judging Albert’s words correctly, he would approve of our being together.” Taking her hand, he dropped to one knee. “So will you, Julia Alcott, honor me by becoming my wife? Our marriage will be legal. Our children legitimate.”
As tears burned her eyes, she covered her mouth with the hand he wasn’t holding.
“Not everyone will approve,” he continued. “There may yet be some scandal, some gossip—”
“I don’t care. Yes, I will marry you. I love you, Edward. I have been so miserable thinking of you leaving me behind at Evermore.”
