Page 14 of The Earl Takes All
She realized he was delaying coming to her. Perhaps he, too, had noticed that things between them weren’t all they should be. “I won’t be once you’re in bed with me.”
Setting aside the poker, he came to the bed, his gaze on the lamp. “Do you want the light?”
“No.”
He extinguished the flame, and the shadows moved in, dancing in rhythm to the flames cavorting on the hearth. He untied the sash, shrugged out of the dressing gown, and tossed it toward the foot of the bed. At the sight of his bared chest, her mouth went dry, the butterflies fluttered lower, and she cursed herself for not asking that the light remain.
Sliding between the sheets, he settled onto his back. She rolled over to her side, placed her hand on his chest, welcomed the warmth of his skin. “You’ve never not worn a nightshirt to bed.”
Beneath her splayed fingers, he stiffened. “It was unbearably hot in Africa. I became accustomed to sleeping in the nude.”
She trailed her fingers up his chest, down to the waistband of his drawers, which she assumed he’d worn out of consideration for her sensibilities. “Perhaps after the babe is born, we’ll both sleep in the nude.”
Grasping her wandering fingers, he jerked his head to the side. Even with the shadows, she could feel the intensity of his stare. Her cheeks grew warm as she forced a brave smile. “I think it would be lovely.”
Bringing her hand to his lips, he kissed her fingertips. The butterflies settled, warmth sluiced through her, tears stung her eyes at the tenderness of his action.
“I know I’ve not been myself.”
“Shh. It’s all right,” she cooed. “Our being separated was more challenging than either of us expected, I think. I hadn’t anticipated being uncomfortable with you when you returned.”
“I don’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable.”
His hand was still curled around hers, holding tightly. The bond was there, it would always be there. “I don’t mean to imply you’re at fault. It’s merely the circumstances and going so long without having you about... to be quite honest, I’ve forgotten things that I never thought to forget. What it’s like to be with you. I got rather accustomed to caring only about my own needs, my own wants. I only had to see after myself. Now that you’re home, I have to settle back into being a wife. It’s not that I mind. I don’t feel burdened by it. It’s simply that I feel a bit awkward sometimes because I’m not quite sure how to act or what to say.”
Rolling onto his side, he pressed his forehead to hers. “I’m sorry that I’m not the man you married.”
“You don’t have to apologize. Don’t you see? We changed somewhat and now we just have to get to know each other again.”
Leaning back, he cradled her cheek. “You’re so... insightful. I thought I was the only one feeling as though I didn’t know you any longer.”
Reaching up, she brushed his hair back from his brow. “The only thing that hasn’t changed is that I love you beyond all imagining.”
He pressed a kiss to her forehead. “You humble me.”
Dropping his arms around her, he pulled her into his chest. That broad, wonderful chest. “It’s been a long day. What say we sleep for a bit?”
Nodding, she tried not to be bothered that he hadn’t confirmed that he loved her. Before, whenever she professed her love for him, he was quick to reassure her that he loved her as well. In retrospect, she dearly wished she’d not encouraged him to take the sojourn with his brother.
Thebaby gorilla peered out through the underbrush.
“She’s adorable. Look at those huge brown eyes. Ladies will fall in love with her.”
“Don’t get too close.”
“We’re fine. She’s a sweetheart. Look how eagerly she came to me.”
“You always had a knack for charming the ladies.”
“We should take her back with us. Think of the attention we’d garner. And Julia would adore her.”
“I’m not certain that’s a good—”
The frightening growl ripped through the dream, jerking him awake as it had every night since Albert’s death. He was sitting up, breathing heavily, drenched in sweat. He had no memory of pushing himself up, the remnants of the nightmare causing uncontrollable tremors to ratchet through him.
“Albert?”
“Apologies for disturbing you. Go back to sleep.” Tossing back the covers, he lunged out of bed and strode to the fireplace. The flames were low, on the verge of sputtering out. Kneeling, he carefully set a log on the dying embers, added kindling, watched as it sparked. He was cold, so blasted cold, as cold as his brother was now. He needed to get warm, needed his teeth to stop chattering.
