Page 60 of The Earl Takes All
Don’tlet her lose the babe.
Be me. Be me. Take care of her.
Take her to Switzerland.
His brother’s dying words. Odd at the end. As though taking his wife on holiday was of prime importance. Maybe he regretted never taking her. It was a beautiful country.
On bended knee, Edward knelt before Albert’s vault. It had been three days since Julia learned the truth, and he had yet to speak with her. She took her meals in her bedchamber. He wasn’t certain she ever left the room. Twice he had gone into it, only to have her turn her back on him and demand that he leave.
The servants knew something was amiss, as he’d moved into the other wing. He couldn’t be certain she wouldn’t run a poker through him in the dead of night. Although he couldn’t deny that he deserved it, and worse.
“I mucked things up, Albert. Stupendously. And stupidly.”
He should have told her right after Christmas. No, right after Allie was born. Better yet, when he arrived at Evermore. She was stronger than Albert gave her credit for. Yes, she had lost three babes, but he believed that was nature’s folly. Nothing Julia could have done, nothing any of them could have done, to change that. She would have grieved over Albert’s death, yes, but not in a way that would have endangered her child. She would have seen to it. She was smart and wise and... blistering mad at him.
Hearing the groan of the door opening, he looked over to see her standing in the doorway, dressed the part of a grieving widow. Black gown, black gloves, black hat, black veil, black cloak.
But even through the black gossamer, he could feel her hard-edged glare. He was surprised he didn’t ignite into a ball of flames. Slowly, he came to his feet, walked quietly toward the door. She stepped aside when he neared, as though he were a leper.
He stopped. Considered. “When you return to the residence, come to the library. We need to talk.”
“I have nothing to say to you.”
“That may be, but we must consider how best to move forward, how to protect your reputation and do what is best for Allie.”
“Lady Alberta.”
Dear God, she wasn’t going to make this easy, was she? Not that he blamed her. “Lady Greyling, you and I have been living as husband and wife for well over two months. We must coordinate our story. I’ll be awaiting your arrival in the library.”
He could feel her hatred burning a hole in his back as he strode out. He had to make her understand—at least what had prompted his ruse in the beginning. Why he hadn’t ended it before the situation went too far was another matter. He didn’t expect forgiveness there. He wasn’t even going to ask for it.
Juliawaited until the door slammed in Edward’s wake to kneel before the vault, press her forehead to the cool marble. The closest she could get to her husband. God, it hurt.
Her heart, her soul, her body. The pain was nearly unbearable.
“Why did you have to die?” she whispered. “Why? Oh, Albert, I miss you something terrible. When I think about how long you’ve actually been gone, I feel cheated. There’s this chasm that I can’t seem to cross. This looming abyss. Why do I think it would have been easier to deal with if I’d known sooner?
“I’ve been a widow for more than four months. I wasn’t even wearing black any longer.”
She understood so much now. Understood why the man she’d believed was her husband had come here the night Alberta was born.
“I know he told you about your daughter, but it should have been me who told you. I hate him for that. I hate him for everything. I know I tell you this every time I come here, but it’s eating at me. You cannot possibly imagine how much I miss you.”
Shaking her head, she flattened her hand against the marble. “I just want to hold you one more time. Want you to hold me. Want you to tell me what to do, how to go on.”
The grief was devastating, but Edward’s betrayal made it all the worse. She didn’t know how she would survive it all, but survive it she would.
Because only survival ensured the possibility of retribution.
Sittingat his desk, Edward began to scribble out a strategy for how best to handle explaining this unconscionable situation to the nobility. That was the key, the core problem. It required a delicate balance. He would express his contrition for the deception, but he could not be too contrite. After all, his actions had come about at the behest of his brother. He would reassure them that nothing untoward had transpired, that because of her delicate condition, their relationship has been chaste. He didn’t think it would be difficult to convince anyone of that possibility. He’d never made a secret of the fact that he could barely tolerate his sister-by-marriage. She’d never pretended to find him anything other than obnoxious. That common knowledge could now be used for the good, to save her reputation, her standing within Society.
Leaning back in his chair, he realized that he might very well come out of this a hero. Ladies would fawn over a gent who had been so considerate as to spend his time in the company of a woman he couldn’t tolerate. He would be applauded for his unselfishness, for his caring, for his devotion to his brother and his sister-by-marriage. Ladies would find him gallant, sing his praises, arrange trysts in dark gardens to sample the flavor of his kiss. He would gain more attention that he had ever dreamed.
Yet he wanted none of it.
As Julia marched through the doorway, her hands balled into fists at her sides, her face set in unforgiving lines, he knew that she would never view him as a hero. She would never see him as anything other than a sly weasel who played unkind tricks.
Straightening, he got up from his chair, prepared to face the tigress. “Would you mind closing the door?”
