Page 73 of The Earl Takes All
He turned to leave, and she was struck with an idea. “And Mrs.Lark.”
He spun back around. “I beg your pardon?”
Unlike Dr.Warren, she did not intend to stand helplessly by while some disease ravaged this man who was far more noble than she’d ever given him credit for. In her mind, she’d accused him of fornication when he’d actually been caring for the ill. She was ashamed of the thoughts she had. She always expected the worst of him, but for nearly three months now he had shown her the best of himself. “Send a footman to the village to ask Mrs.Lark exactly how Lord Greyling took care of her. Have him write it all down. Even the smallest thing may be important.”
“My mum always recommended a hot toddy.”
Edward would certainly welcome that. “Thank you, Marlow. Fetch it as well.”
Leaving, he closed the door in his wake. She gave her attention back to Edward. He seemed to have drifted off. She couldn’t help but believe that time was of the essence. And now that they were alone, she could address him far more intimately. “Edward, Edward, I need you to wake up for just a bit.”
His eyes fluttered, closed.
“Listen to me. I’m sending a servant to talk with Mrs.Lark. But can you tell me what you did to help her get better?” She shook his shoulder. He failed to respond. She shook harder. “Edward, can you tell me what you did?”
Opening his eyes, he blinked at her. “I killed him. I killed Albert.”
Chapter 18
Shewould hate him now, hate him more than she already did, hate him as much as he hated himself. She would leave. He needed her to leave as much as he needed her to stay. “The story I told you about how... Edward died. It was how Albert died.”
“Yes, I assumed that,” she said softly.
He felt so hot and clammy he could be walking through the jungle at that very moment. He had to tell her. She had to know the truth, but it was so hard to think, so hard to focus. Yet the guilt had been gnawing at him. He couldn’t take this truth to the grave. He would never tell her how Albert had suffered, suffered because of him. But she had to understand that what happened wasn’t Albert’s fault.
“I didn’t tell you precisely what occurred. I, not Albert, was playing with the baby gorilla. Albert merely stood off to the side and warned me—”
Don’t get too close.
We’re fine. She’s a sweetheart. Look how eagerly she came to me.
“But as usual, I ignored his concerns. The huge ape that barreled out of the jungle was coming for me. I was his target, because he perceived me to be the threat. Except Albert stepped in front of him. Don’t you see? It should have been me who was hurled about, who died. I never meant to take everything from Albert. Forgive me.”
Sitting on the edge of the bed, she wrapped her fingers around his hand. Hers was cool, so very cool. He wanted it on his brow, his chest.
“There’s nothing to forgive,” she said softly. “You were his younger brother. Of course he was going to try to protect you.”
“Younger by only an hour.” He swallowed hard, ignoring the pain in his throat. “I should have saved him. I never should have insisted he come on the damned safari with me.”
“He wanted to go. He wanted to be there. I’ll read his journal to you, shall I? You’ll see. He thought it a marvelous adventure. He wouldn’t have missed it for the world. Every night he wrote fond remembrances of your time together.”
“Every night he spoke of you.”
“When you’re well, you can tell me what he said.”
“He wanted me to take you to Switzerland.”
She blinked, shook her head. “Why would he want you to do that?”
“I assumed because it was someplace you wanted to visit.”
“Not particularly. Maybe he wanted to take me there as a surprise, but it’s not anyplace I yearned to visit.”
Staring at her, he fought through the fog, striving to remember Albert’s exact words. Had he misunderstood them? “Makes no sense.”
“Neither does blaming yourself for his death. He would be bitterly disappointed if you continue to do so. It happened as it happened. It’s no one’s fault. There were a thousand steps along the way where a different choice would have changed everything. We always believe a different path would have brought something better. But the reality is that it could just as well have brought something worse.”
She was right, and he could be bringing her something worse at that very moment. “Please don’t stay in here with me. If you fall ill, if Allie does—”
