Page 87 of The Earl Takes All
“How do you know?”
Pushing back, he held her gaze. “Because I love you.”
“What if it’s just that we were lost in the pretense?”
“The pretense is gone now, yet still the emotions remain. Why do you doubt?”
“Most are lucky to be loved once. Why should I be fortunate enough to be loved twice, to have happiness twice? I’m afraid fate will snatch it away if I reach for it again.”
“So I’ll be denied because you don’t trust fate? Fate can go to the devil, Julia. Place your trust in me.”
Reaching up, she brushed his hair back from his brow. Somewhere along the way he’d lost his hat. “A little more time, Edward.”
“I’d be lying if I said I’m in no hurry. I want you with a desperation that threatens to unman me, but I want all of you, without guilt, without shadows, without ghosts. And for that I will wait with all the patience I can muster.”
He understood her, comprehended why she struggled. She didn’t want to lose her past, but she had to let go of it in order to reach for a future with him. But always he would be inextricably tied to Albert. “I’m closer to saying goodbye to what was. I enjoy the time I spend with you. I’m glad for the opportunities to get to know you better. You’re not at all as I thought you were. You may be the least selfish person I’ve ever known.”
“Don’t make me into a saint.”
“Oh, I’m not so much taken with you that I would mistake you for anything other than the devilish sort. It’s only that I’m coming to realize I like the devilish sort.”
Chapter 21
Winterfinally gave way to spring, the appearance of the first buds filling Edward with hope as he took his morning walk with Julia. They frequented the mausoleum less often. Sometimes they simply strolled past it. Some mornings, Julia indicated she wished to go in a different direction.
While their time together remained relatively chaste, he wasn’t above trailing a finger along her exposed skin if the opportunity arose as they were going into dinner, pressing a kiss to the nape of her neck as he leaned over to help her set up her billiards shot, bussing his lips over her cheek as he handed her brandy before they sat in front of the fire within his library.
“Will you be riding out to see any tenants today?” she asked as the mausoleum came into view.
“It’s too fine a day for that. I was thinking a picnic was in order.”
“Let’s go this way,” she said, indicating a detour and a day that focused only on the present, not the past. “A picnic, then?”
“Yes, I thought we should take Allie on her first one.”
“She won’t remember it.”
“But we will.”
As usual, her hand was on his arm. She pressed up against his shoulder. “Oh, Edward, I think a picnic would be lovely.”
“Grey,” he reminded her.
“There’s no one out here to overhear.”
“But if you are in the habit of using my title, you are less likely to slip up as I did with my hearing. At least until you have made up your mind concerning our course.”
“I’ve caught a couple of the servants looking at me oddly. I’m not sure they know what to make of my no longer calling you Albert.”
“It is not their place to make anything of it, nor should we concern ourselves with what they think.”
“I know, but if we go to London together, I think others will find it odd as well.”
If they went to London together. He wondered how much longer it would be before she saidwhenthey went to London together. “People notice far less than we think.”
“Not among the nobility. Especially among the ladies. They’re all searching for gossip.”
“Did you?”
