Page 88 of The Earl Takes All
She laughed, the joyous sound that always traveled straight into his soul. It was becoming more difficult not to take her in his arms and kiss her. He wanted to give her the time she required, but damnation, it was torment to keep his desires chained. But then most widows mourned for two years. The Queen still mourned the loss of her husband, and nearly twenty years had passed since his death.
“Of course I did. Especially my first Season. Not so much now. It’s a game the ladies play. Who can uncover the best gossip? Anyone who uncovered our story would be heralded.” The laughter was gone, her voice tinged with sadness.
“No one will suspect anything sordid of you,” he assured her. “You are too well liked, too respected. They won’t even be looking.”
“You don’t know ladies as well as I thought if you believe that. The taller one’s pedestal, the more determined they are to find a way to knock her off it. Besides everyone loves a scandal.”
“We don’t have to go to London.”
She stopped walking and faced him. “Of course you do. You now sit in the House of Lords.” Reaching up, she cradled his face. “I don’t fear London.”
“What do you fear?”
She looked out over the rolling hills that were now covered in wildflowers. “Stepping onto a path that will lead to Allie’s ruination.”
“If she is half as strong as her mother, there is nothing that will ever cause her ruin.”
“I hope you’re right.” She smiled brightly. “Let’s take her on that picnic, shall we?”
Hechose a spot near the small pond where he and Albert had fished as lads, where he had shoved his brother into the frigid waters for declaring that Edward would always have to follow his commands. To Albert, he’d proven his point that he wouldn’t be ordered about. To himself, he’d proven that he’d always be there to get his brother out of trouble, even if he was the one who originally got Albert into it.
When Albert partially lost his hearing, Edward had learned there were consequences to his actions. That lesson had not served him as well as it might have.
Had he told Julia the truth shortly after she’d delivered, he might not have lost her trust, might not now be stretched out on a blanket with her sitting feet away from him—instead of nestled against him—and Allie resting on her stomach between them, periodically pushing her head up so she could gaze at her surroundings. She had the sweetest smile, and he suspected she was going to break many a heart.
Unfortunately, he feared her mother was going to break his.
The nanny was reading several yards away, her back resting against the trunk of a tree. He wondered if Julia had wanted her in attendance not such much to care for Allie should the need arise, but to ensure that he didn’t take advantage. Although why she thought he would now when he hadn’t yet was beyond him. Except that maybe she could tell he was skirting the limits of his patience.
He wanted her—badly.
She was wearing a dress of dark blue. A wide-brimmed hat shaded her from the sun, and had hidden much of her face from his view until he’d gone down on an elbow, with the excuse of wanting to be nearer to Allie. But whenever he brought his face in close to his niece and made her smile, he was able to lift his gaze just enough to see her mother’s serene expression.
He liked that she appeared happy, liked that perhaps the darker days were behind her. He didn’t fool himself into believing she wasn’t mourning or that she would ever be grateful to have lost Albert in order to gain Edward. He understood his place in her heart. But coming in second when he had no hope of being first was something with which he could live.
All that mattered to him was thatfor himshe would always be first. Every other woman didn’t even come in a close second. Each was dead last. He wasn’t willing to settle for less than what he wanted, even if it took a lifetime to acquire her. Without her, his life had no anchor, no purchase, no direction. Even being the Earl of Greyling gave less purpose to his life than she did.
For her and her daughter, he would rule a kingdom. Without them, it was merely land to be looked after.
She took a sip of wine, nibbled delicately on some cheese, and while she appeared to be occupied with something in the distance, from his lower vantage point he could see how often her gaze flicked to him. She was not as immune to his presence as she wanted him to believe.
“It’s unseasonable warm today,” he said.
“I hadn’t noticed. I find it rather pleasant. I do hope you’re not taking another fever.”
“Could be that I’m just warm because you’re near.”
She laughed, a tinkling that would open the gates to heaven. “Please don’t ruin our afternoon with trite flattery.”
“For two months, Julia, I’ve been as steadfast a friend as possible. How can I win you over without flattery, without seducing you? How much longer must I behave?”
Her gaze darted to Nanny.
“She can’t hear us,” he said. “Besides, she believes me to be your husband. She would think nothing of it if I were to take liberties.”
Julia took another sip of wine, touched her tongue to the bow of her upper lip. God help him, but he wanted to dive across the distance separating them and place his own tongue there. Pushing himself up, he shirked out of his jacket and tossed it near the spot where he’d earlier pitched his hat.
“What are you doing?” Julia asked.
