Page 102 of The Earl Takes All
He had sworn to never again lie to her, but he had also vowed to make her happy. “Eventually I will. But for now, let me give you a proper goodbye.”
He rolled over until she was partially tucked beneath him and he could rise up on an elbow to gaze down on her. The lamp, still providing a low light, allowed him to see her clearly within the dancing shadows. Never had he enjoyed so much simply looking at a woman. He was going to miss her terribly.
She was young, too young to spend the remainder of her life alone. Eventually she would marry again. He was not going to think about that, wasn’t going to focus on what he wouldn’t have. For now, he wanted to only concentrate on what he did have: her in his arms, in his bed for one more night. For now, he intended to catalogue every aspect of her, hoard the memories so they would never fade, so he would always have them to visit, to remember, to relive.
“I do love you, Edward.”
He’d planned to go slowly, but with her words, he crushed his mouth to hers, his tongue delving deeply, possessively. He would always think of her when he tasted strawberries, heard the sigh of the wind, felt the warmth of the sun. She encompassed a myriad of sensations. With her, everything was always richer, more intense, more compelling.
Her hands were as frantic as his, divesting him of his clothes while he did the same with her nightdress. Then they were flesh against flesh, beginning with their toes and traveling upward. He knew if he’d been granted a thousand years with her, he’d have never tired of her, never tired of this, but all he had was a few more hours, until the lark sang at dawn. He would leave her bed in the morning for the final time. He didn’t know where he would find the strength to do it, but he would.
Howcould she say goodbye to this? How could she say farewell to him?
Julia found herself praying that the sun would never again rise, that the passage of time would cease, that she and Edward could remain forever cocooned around each other. Selfish thoughts, but then where he was concerned, she seemed to be filled with selfish needs. It was one of the reasons she’d thought she could live a lie, that she hadn’t considered all the ramifications, all the people affected.
She knew she would never again experience such uninhibited passion, be possessed by such rampant yearnings, be obsessed with one man. Something deep within him called to a place within her that had been unchartered, undiscovered. She could have lived her entire life without being aware of it and she would have been content, happy. But now that it had been revealed, how could she ever forget that it existed? How could she ignore it?
Oh, she would miss him.
The way his heated mouth left a trail of dew over her skin, along her throat, across the swells of her breasts. The manner in which his mouth closed over her nipple and suckled gently while his hands continued to explore, his fingers to tease. His thigh provided the right amount of pressure between her legs, causing her to writhe against him.
His groans delighted her ears; his tangy scent filled her nostrils. His skin was salty against her tongue. She was striving to hoard every sensation even as she was becoming lost in them. How was it that she could be so aware and yet so disoriented? She was ascending and falling at the same time. Every time they came together it was the same and yet different.
She pushed on his shoulders until he fell onto his back. Straddling his hips, she glided her hands up his arms until she reached his wrists, then shackled her fingers around them. She guided them above his head, pressed them into the pillow. “Don’t move them,” she ordered.
“What are you going to do?”
She gave him her sauciest grin. “Have my way with you.”
“Christ, Ju—”
Her mouth captured his lips, her name, his breath. She was the one who had determined they needed to end the farce. He capitulated because of his love for her. She knew that. She also knew that he had the power to change her mind; knew that he knew as well. Yet he had surrendered, accepted defeat because her happiness was more important to him than his own.
She wanted people to know that he put others before himself. He wasn’t a scapegrace; he didn’t take advantage. She wanted people talking about Edward with the respect he deserved. It wasn’t right to live one’s life in another’s shadow.
She skimmed her mouth along his bristly chin. She loved this time of night, when his face was roughened with whiskers, when he appeared slightly uncivilized, a little barbaric. So very, very masculine.
He groaned low, and she felt his chest vibrating where her knees rested against his ribs. She loved how tortured he sounded. She placed her lips against his ear. “I’m going to take you in my mouth.”
His hips reared up. “Jesus.”
“Do you want that?” she asked in a silken throaty voice.
“Yes.”
Lifting up, she met his gaze. “What do you want?”
“For you to take me in your mouth.”
“Then keep your hands where they are.”
Above his head, he interlocked his fingers so tightly she could see the knuckles turning white.
“I want you to remember this night,” she whispered.
“I will remember every moment I ever spent with you.”
She kissed him thoroughly, controlling the depth and tempo of their movements. She felt powerful, strong. Equal. She could drive him as mad as he drove her. She nibbled on his chin, his neck, his collarbone. Watched as the muscles in his arms bunched and flexed as he struggled not to reach for her.
