Page 75 of The Earl Takes All
She studied the familiar contours of his face, wishing he didn’t look so haggard, and wondering how it was that although he looked exactly like Albert, when she looked at him she didn’t see Albert. She was somewhat mystified that she ever had. “Get well and I’ll invite you to tell more.”
“Don’t go to the Cotswolds.”
“This is neither the time nor the place.”
“I’m weakened, have your sympathies. It’s the perfect time.”
Needing something to do, she dipped the cloth into the water again, wrung it out. “I haven’t decided what I’m going to do, and I won’t make a promise to you now that I’m not certain I can keep. I would appreciate, however, if you would hasten your recovery.”
“And give up having you in my bedchamber?”
She snapped her attention back to him, grateful to see a twinkle in his eyes, when she had feared for two days now that they would dull as the life left him. “You’re being inappropriate.”
“You like that I’m inappropriate.”
She did, damn him. “You must be feeling better.”
“Somewhat.” He closed his eyes. “I’m not going to die, Julia.”
“The staff will be relieved. They’ve met your cousin who would inherit.”
He chuckled low. “You’ll be relieved as well.”
“A little I suppose.” She placed the cloth on his chest, near his heart.
He wrapped his fingers around her wrist. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell who I was right after Allie was born. That was wrong of me. I want you to know—I need you to understand—that if things between us that night had gone further, Edward would have remained buried.”
She sank back, not certain what to make of that. He’d been willing to be Albert for the remainder of his life, in order to have her. Perhaps she should have been flattered. Instead her temper was pricked. She would have been unwittingly caught in a deception. “I should have the choice.”
“With English law there is no choice.”
Because a woman could not marry her deceased husband’s brother.
“We always have a choice. To live within the law or to break it. You should not presume which I would choose.”
“You’re right. I was thinking only of what I wanted and how best to keep you happy. I can see now that it was unfair to you.”
“It was unfair to us both. Would you really want to live with a woman who thought she was giving her love to someone else?”
“I’ve never loved anyone before. I’m not wise in its ways.”
She was his first. Of all the women he’d been with, he’d loved none of them. She found it both sad and flattering. “I think it would have been a hard lesson. Eventually you would have resented both me and Alberta, and your life and mine would have become miserable.”
“I’m so sorry.”
She placed her finger against his lips. “It doesn’t matter any longer. What matters is how we move forward.”
“Will we move forward?”
“I suppose you’ll have to recover in order to find out.”
“Unsympathetic wench. Will you not even give me hope?”
“I’m here, aren’t I?”
That seemed to satisfy him as he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep. She was half tempted to crawl into bed with him, rest her head on his shoulder and succumb to slumber, but she feared that if she didn’t remain vigilant he would slip away when she wasn’t looking. She remembered that both her parents had seemed on the mend, talking with her, assuring her all would be well. In both cases, they were gone by morning.
His fever broke near dawn. She nearly wept with relief. After summoning Edward’s valet to assist him as needed, she walked into the bedchamber across the hall and fell into the bed, certain she’d never been more tired in her life.
