Page 91 of An Affair with a Notorious Heiress
To see him happy, she had no choice but to rebuff him, to free him of her scandal, her past. “It is an easy thing to do, my lord.”
“Goodbye, Lady Landsdowne.”
His reflection in the window was no more, but she didn’t look away. She tormented herself by listening to his retreating footsteps, the closing of the door. She watched his solitary figure walk down her drive, his head held high.
Then she sank to the floor and wept for all the dreams—hers and his—she’d just shattered, for the loneliness she knew she would experience without him, for the sorrow she’d brought him, for how desperately she wanted to rush out after him and beg him not to leave her.
Chapter 20
The next morning, she awoke with eyes gritty and swollen. If she could bring herself to look in the mirror, she’d no doubt see they were red as well. In between bouts of restless sleep, she’d wept.
She couldn’t recall her heart ever hurting this much. And she’d brought it all on herself. She’d thought he understood the terms of their relationship, that it would never be more than an affair.
Although she probably should have made certain her heart understood the terms as well, because damn it all to hell, she’d fallen in love with him. How could she not when he made her smile, made her laugh. When he gave her sprites for her garden. When he kissed her on a roundabout.
She rang for her maid and then took great pains to avoid her reflection in the mirror. She didn’t want to see the sad and wretched creature she was. Sometime before the day was done, she was going to have to explain to Gina that she was on her own when it came to finding a husband. Tillie could no longer help her. She was going to return to New York.
When she was dressed, she made her way downstairs. Feeling as though she were slogging through mire, she headed to the dining room for breakfast. Griggs stopped her in the hallway.
“My lady, the coachman sent word up that a horse has been delivered to the stables. The lad who delivered it told him you are now its owner.”
“No.” The word escaped as a horrified whisper.
Before Griggs could respond, she hiked up her skirts and ran, through the residence, out a rear door into the gardens, past the pixie and roses and trellises until she reached the stables near the mews.
The coachman, a groom, and the stable boy were standing about admiring the proud and beautiful mare. Tillie staggered to a stop, gasping for breath, her heart feeling as though it were being rent in two.
The coachman turned to her, his face splitting into a wide grin. “She’s a beaut, m’lady. The lad what brung her said she’s to be called Fair Vixen.” The mare whinnied and tossed her head. “Seems to know her name, she does. I thought to have one of the lads here ride her, see if she’s as gentle as she seems.”
“No,” she said, “no one is to ride her. We won’t be keeping her.”
“That’s a shame. I ’spect she runs right fast.”
She runs like the wind.“Someone will be picking her up this afternoon,” she told him. “Give her great care and keep her comfortable until then.”
“Yes, m’lady.”
She’d intended to walk away then, but she seemed unable to stop her legs from moving forward. The horse lowered her head as she approached, and Tillie found herself stroking the muzzle before pressing her forehead to it. “He values you. Why did he send you here?”
Because their arrangement was at an end. Gina was not betrothed. He was paying the forfeit for his failure.
“I’m not taking your horse. You can send someone to pick her up.”
It seemed the problem with having an affair with a lady in his own residence was that she learned her away around it and apparently didn’t think she needed the butler to announce her but was perfectly comfortable storming into his library in the late morning hours, with no regard for what a man might be doing.
Behind his desk, Rexton shoved back his chair and stood. The three men gathered in front of him also came to their feet, obviously perplexed by the intrusion to their weekly meeting. “Gentlemen, we’ll leave matters there and take it up again when next we gather.”
They mumbled their goodbyes to him, tipped their heads to Tillie as they passed her. He forced himself not to be gladdened by her arrival, to remain where he was rather than rushing forward, drawing her in, and begging her to reconsider a future with him.
Somewhat abashedly, she walked forward. “I apologize. I didn’t mean to interrupt your discussion.”
“Why are you here?” He was rather proud of the fact he had kept his tone flat, uncaring.
“You don’t owe me Fair Vixen.”
“Of course I do. Those were the terms of ouragreement. If I abandoned the quest before the end of the Season, my prize mare was forfeit. I have abandoned the quest ahead of time, completely and absolutely. With no regret or remorse. Fair Vixen is yours.”
“But you didn’t abandon it after taking me to your bed. The arrangement has ended because of my actions. You are not at fault.”
