Page 70 of An Affair with a Notorious Heiress
She feared by Season’s end she’d be in the same position she was now, with no one to call her own.
Tillie did wish he hadn’t removed his jacket or rolled up his sleeves so slowly, so provocatively, revealing those lovely forearms upon which he’d rested the night before while dipping down to kiss her shoulder after one of their passion-filled rides had come to an end. It was ludicrous that she should find hair on the forearms so masculine, that the way the ropy muscles bunched as he rowed should be so intoxicating. No wonder he was so strong, had been able to carry her as though she weighed nothing at all.
It was a lovely cool summer afternoon, yet she felt as though she was walking in New York with the sun beating down on her and no air to be found.
Before falling into slumber, she’d convinced herself last night had been an aberration, that she’d misread the intensity of his attentions because she’d gone so long without a man’s interest. She’d been desperate for it, and so she’d imagined it to be far greater than it was. Although at the moment, she was surprised the little boat didn’t ignite into flames from his heated glances.
She read promises there, precious vows of what he would do with her when next he had her. Dear God, but being a man’s mistress was far better than being his wife. Perhaps it was because affairs were illicit and therefore brought with them a greater temptation. Perhaps it was because they were renegades, breaking the laws of God and man. Perhaps it was because they were fully aware their time together was finite. That they wouldn’t be together until death so each moment was more precious.
Whatever it was, she feared that everyone in the boats surrounding them knew what they’d done last night, what they would do again. That they could see him branded upon her, knew exactly where his mouth had been, where she longed for it to be once more.
“Perhaps we should discuss your efforts where Gina is concerned,” she said as much to distract herself from her wandering wicked thoughts as to ensure he did indeed have some plan for securing a husband for her sister.
“I believe there is some sort of affair tomorrow night,” he said laconically as though he hadn’t given it any thought.
“Yes, the Ainsley ball. Gina will be there. It’s well attended.” She lifted a shoulder, dropped it back down. “At least it was some years back when I was welcomed. I’ve no reason to believe that’s changed.” She’d read nothing in the gossip sheets to indicate the duke and duchess had lost favor. “How will you proceed while there?”
He glanced behind him, no doubt striving to ensure he didn’t ram into anyone. Several boats were being rowed along this stretch of river. “Continue to introduce her about, shower her with attention, dance with her.”
She hated every aspect of his plan. It struck a chord of jealousy within her that she didn’t much like. She wanted him to dance with her, to shower her with attention, to escort her among his peers. Impossible, all of it. Yet still she wanted it. Where had he been when she’d been open to courtship?
“I like the way you both converse as though I’m not here,” Gina said, a bit testily.
Reaching out, Tillie squeezed her hand. “Sorry, sweeting. That was rather rude of us.”
“Won’t people find it odd that you’re suddenly attending balls, my lord?”
He directed his attention to Gina, his smile warm, not nearly as wicked as the ones he bestowed on Tillie. “With rare exception, I do avoid them. The mamas are all a bit too pushy for my tastes. That’s to our advantage now, though, as people will believe I’m truly smitten with you. Why else would I go if my heart had not been captured?”
“If you appear too smitten,” Tillie felt compelled to point out, “others may steer clear out of respect for you.”
“I shall display the proper amount of attention to indicate I’m interested but not yet fully committed.”
“You seem rather good at these games.” She hated that she sounded out of sorts by the thought.
“I have friends who have fallen. I had the chance to observe them as they made fools of themselves. I’m determined to go down with a bit more dignity.”
“You’re open to love then?”
“I am. When the right woman comes along.”
“What would make a woman the right one?” Gina asked.
“Gina, don’t be so bold,” Tillie chastised.
“Why not? He asked what I wanted in a husband. I’m curious as to what qualities he seeks in a wife.”
He laughed. “We’re not looking to match me up, Little One.”
Tillie was selfishly glad he wasn’t yet ready to marry. Although he would be and soon.
“Why not?” Gina insisted. “You’re getting up in years. If you wait much longer you might not be able to produce an offspring.”
Gina was correct. He required an heir. Strange how if Tillie had been married to him she didn’t think she’d find fault with his mother for reminding her that she was to get with child quickly. She would have wanted to present him with a son, had the insane notion she could give him one now.Thatwould be disastrous. But if she were to find herself with child before leaving for New York, she would have no regrets. She would claim herself to be a widow—
What ludicrous thoughts.
He scowled as though deeply offended by her sister’s words. “I’m not yet thirty.”
