Page 32 of Gentlemen Prefer Heiresses
He went still, so still. With her free hand, she scraped her fingers along his scalp and held him in the curve of her shoulder, wondering if she’d ever again know such contentment.
It was inconceivable to him that he could know such satisfaction without a complete taking of her. But he did.
He’d loved watching her climax. When she’d asked for more from him, how could he not give it?
Already hovering on the precipice, he’d known it wouldn’t take much. The hardest thing he’d ever done was not to push forward and bury himself to the hilt in that lovely wet and heated notch. He suspected one thrust would have had his seed pouring forth. But he would not dishonor her, would not do anything to lessen her chances of marriage with a titled gentleman.
“As much as I am loath to leave this bed, we must get you back into my parents’ residence.”
“I know. Andrew—”
He touched his finger to her lips when he desperately wanted to put his mouth there. “It’s best if we not say anything more. Tonight’s adventure needs to come to a close.”
She nodded. “I shall never forget it.”
His worry was that he wouldn’t either, or worse: she had spoiled him for anyone else.
Within the confines of the carriage, Gina snuggled against Andrew’s side, with his arm securely around her shoulders. If their journey never ended, if they never reached his parents’ residence, she would be forever content.
He’d assisted her in putting on her clothing—even though it was still damp. He’d brushed and braided her hair. Because there had been no vanity in the room, she’d been unable to study his reflection in a mirror as he administered to her needs while she sat on the bed, but she knew she’d always remember the gentleness with which he’d tidied the strands. He made her feel treasured, protected, loved.
Which was silly. He didn’t love her. She didn’t delude herself into thinking he did. She was a bit of fun for the night. He was always game for fun.
It was in his nature. She’d taken advantage, but she didn’t regret it.
“Is it different with every woman?” she asked softly.
He drew her in closer against his side. “The mechanics are very much the same, but the details—her fragrance, the silkiness of her skin, the small sounds she makes—differ.”
“So you’ll have memories that are unique to me, to no one else.”
His mouth pressed to the top of her head. “You will always stand apart, Gina.”
“Is it difficult to be with someone else... after you’ve been with someone?”
“If you’re thinking of the man you’ll marry—you’ll love him, you’ll want to be with him, you’ll desire an even greater intimacy than what we shared—and everything about me will fade away.”
She very much doubted that.
“As it should,” he said quietly, his tone reflecting regret and sorrow.
“I doubt I’ll forget my first.”
“It was only a partial first.”
Still she’d never before known such pleasure, passion, or desire.
The carriage came to a halt, but he didn’t immediately release his hold on her. She took some comfort in that, that the parting was as difficult for him as it was for her.
When the door opened, he slowly extricated himself from around her, stepped out, then handed her down. He didn’t release his hold on her hand, but held firm as they walked up the steps. Once they reached the door, he didn’t hesitate to take her in his arms and kiss her.
Deeply, thoroughly, hungrily, as though he were a man being offered his last meal.
She didn’t want to contemplate that she would never again feel his lips on hers, his tongue sliding over hers. Instead she focused on every nuance, on committing them all to memory. He would not fade, time spent with him would never fade. Eventually she would have to close her heart off to him in order to open it up to someone else. Determined not to live her life without love, she would find a way to carry on, to survive without a man who stirred so many incredible sensations and frightening emotions within her.
He brought her so much joy and happiness, but in the end he would break her heart, because he could not—would not—love her. Because he wanted a life without entanglements and responsibilities. He was someone with whom she could have fun and excitement but not a future. She was going to be grateful for the minutes she had with him and not mourn the time she didn’t.
Drawing back, he held her gaze, stroked his fingers over her cheek. “You deserve a man who can love you with all his heart.”
