Page 21 of Beyond Scandal and Desire
She laughed lightly. “My dear sir, carrying a parasol has little to do with the sun.”
Dear sir?He was not her dear anything. He knew that, knew she didn’t understand the consequences of words spoken. Still the endearment left a strange longing that he did not wish to examine. He was thirty-one, reaching the time in his life when it would be natural to take a wife, to have someone who called him dear. He’d never really contemplated that before, didn’t know why he was doing so now. She was not to be a permanent part of his life. She served a purpose, and when that purpose waned, he would release her. He wondered why he suddenly feared he might do so with regrets.
“Do you see the woman in blue who has folded up her parasol and is touching the handle to her lips?”
“The one who has wasted her coins by purchasing something designed to protect from the sun and is using it most ineffectually?”
“Depends on your definition of effectual, I suppose. She is signaling to the gent walking beside her that she would like to kiss him.”
“You’re bloody well putting me on, aren’t you?”
Her eyes widened at his sharp tone, or perhaps his profanity, but he hated little more than he hated being made a fool of. She shook her head. “No. Women aren’t allowed to speak their minds, to declare what they want so they have to do it through bits of frippery.”
Her voice was edged with a hardness he’d have not expected of her. He didn’t know why it pleased him to realize she had a bit of a temper, one that she no doubt controlled because of societal expectations. “And what is it you want to declare?”
She blinked slowly, stared at him. Suddenly laughed. “At this precise moment, I don’t know.”
“You never have to watch your words with me.” Which wasn’t fair, as he’d always be watchful of what he revealed to her. “My sisters always speak their mind.”
“And do what they want, I suppose. The sister who accompanied you the other night no doubt was allowed to stay at Cremorne Gardens after the riffraff arrived.”
“No, I strive to protect her from the less savory elements of London.”
“My apologies.” She sighed. “Sometimes I yearn to rebel against proper behavior.”
“Why don’t you?”
“Scandal would serve me no good. Lord Kipwick would be dismayed and disappointed in me.”
He found it difficult to believe anyone would ever be disappointed in her, that she had it within her to bring about censure—on her own at least. With his assistance, she was going to find herself engulfed in improper behavior. She would disappoint. She would bring about censure. She would despise him. Regret began to well, and he shoved it aside. It could overwhelm him later, but not now, not while his plans were still in their infancy, before they’d come to fruition.
“Why is he not here?” he asked, working to keep his voice neutral, when in truth there was a small corner of his soul that was angry on her behalf, because unlike the myriad of other ladies, she was not being escorted by her swain.
“The park bores him no end.”
“But surely you do not. I would suffer through any dull activity to be at the side of a woman who interests me.” And she interested him, far more than she should have, far more than he wanted her to.
That blush again, accompanied by a fluttering of her eyelashes that he suspected had nothing at all to do with flirtation, but rather his words had taken her unawares, as she’d not considered the message a man’s absence might be communicating. While he’d given it a great deal of thought. If she didn’t mean as much to Kipwick as the gossip sheets hinted, then she was no longer a crucial part of his plan. For some unfathomable reason, he was more disappointed on her behalf than on his.
“It seems a lady would be most fortunate to have your attentions, then.” She averted her gaze, released a taut laugh. “It seems our couple with the closed parasol has secreted away.”
“Have you ever been secreted away?”
She snapped her gaze back to him. “Of course not. A lady in my position does not engage in such inappropriate behavior, but must act in a manner that ensures she stay above rumormongering.”
“Is there not some part of you, some deep dark part of you, that longs for scandal?”
He watched in fascination as the delicate muscles at her ivory throat worked while she swallowed. “Absolutely not.” There was little force behind the words. “I have delayed your enjoyment of the park long enough, I think.”
She was dismissing him. He should have taken offense. Instead he viewed it as a victory. He was getting to her, making her doubt Kipwick’s devotion. He wondered why he took no satisfaction in the knowledge.
“Indeed.” He bowed his head slightly. “I have a meeting with my solicitor regarding some new property I wish to obtain. He charges me double when I’m tardy.”
“Then I shan’t keep you.”
“One question before I go—what does it signal when a lady rests her parasol on her right shoulder?” As she had done throughout their entire stroll.
“That she welcomes the gentleman speaking to her.”
