Page 61 of Beyond Scandal and Desire
Licking her lips, gathering her resolve, she opened her eyes, met his.
“There’s not going to be a wreck, we’re not going to die.”
All the duchess’s warnings about the need to be careful, the necessity of never taking a risk, bombarded her. “You don’t know that.”
“I know there’s no benefit to expecting the worst.” He nodded toward the side. “Look what you’re missing.”
She glanced to the window where the scenery formed a changing panorama of buildings and trees and people and roads. “It’s like being in a carriage.”
“Except there are no horses to grow weary.”
Glancing down, she saw that her knuckles had gone white. Little wonder her hand was beginning to ache. “I must be hurting you.”
“I’m not so delicate as all that.”
He wasn’t delicate at all. He was all strength, determination and courage. “Do you fear nothing?”
“We all fear something.”
His words made her feel slightly better, not quite as timid. “We’re traveling at a good clip.”
“We’ll be at the seaside before you know it.”
The journey had been at once satisfying and torturous. Because she was so near, because he could not have her. Because he had to give the impression that he wasn’t aware of every breath she drew, that he didn’t think a thousand times about leaning in and taking possession of her sweet mouth, that helping her relax into the motion of the train didn’t make him want to see her settling into the motion of lovemaking. That her gardenia scent surrounding him didn’t give him hope that when all was said and done, she wouldn’t hate him.
She overwhelmed him in ways he’d never been, so he’d nearly burst out of the compartment when the train finally reached its destination. The children weren’t his responsibility. He was going to pay her maids for assisting Fancy with caring for them. They walked ahead now, along the sandy shore, two urchins each, while he and Aslyn followed leisurely behind, her hand nestled in the crook of his elbow.
They were unlikely to run into anyone she knew; they weren’t limited to the shadows or the night. If he were not a realist, he would consider that they could have a future of walking in the sunshine, but the practical side of him knew that future was unlikely.
“Was the outing with the orphans an excuse to spend time with me?” she asked.
“Yes.”
She jerked her head around to look at him. Her parasol rested on her right shoulder. He wanted it closed with the handle against her lips. He arched a brow. “You didn’t expect me to answer honestly?”
Her laughter rose above the cries of the squawking gulls and the roar of the sea in constant motion. “I suppose I didn’t.”
He almost told her that he wasn’t Kipwick; he wouldn’t hide things from her. Only he was keeping secrets, and he certainly didn’t want her attention turning back toward the earl. “You’re not completely comfortable when I approach you in the park. You’re always looking to see who might have spotted me with you. I thought here you might let your guard down a bit.”
She gave a little nod. He wasn’t certain if she was acknowledging his cleverness or the fact that she was more relaxed here. “The hotel we passed reminds me very much of yours.”
“The Bedford. I modeled mine after it and a few others. Mine is a combination of the things I favored in the hotels I visited. When I was a lad, I used to steal rides on the train to get to the seaside. It always smelled so much cleaner here, seemed so much cleaner. A person had room to breathe.”
“You traveled alone.”
He shrugged. “Sometimes my brothers would travel with me. Sometimes not.”
“You never feared the railway, never at all?”
“For me, it represented freedom. It allowed me to dream that where I was, was not where I needed to stay.” He shook his head. “Sounds silly said out loud.”
She squeezed his arm reassuringly. “No, it’s a beautiful sentiment. I’m impressed you realized it so young when I’m only just beginning to feel the confines, to question them, to want to step beyond them.”
She averted her gaze as though embarrassed by her words, and he wondered if she would permanently step away from Kipwick. He didn’t want to push her, didn’t want to give her cause to doubt his intentions, but decided it would be to his advantage to leave her thinking on what she’d said. Glancing back, he signaled to his man. “Jones, let’s set up over here. Fancy!”
His sister looked over her shoulder.
“Over there!” he shouted and pointed.
