Page 75 of She Tempts the Duke
“I don’t know that I can love it as you do. It is a harsh foreboding place, and with your uncle’s dealings, it has such a sordid history.”
“It is my home.”
Those few words, succinctly spoken, said it all.
“And what of us?” She shifted her gaze and found his on her. As always. But there was no warmth there, no yearning. He had erected a wall to his soul that she doubted she had the power to break through. “What do you envision for us?”
He looked away then. She watched as he tightened his jaw. “I know I am not your first choice for husband, and I rue the circumstances that forced you to have to choose me at all. But I will do all in my power to see that you never regret it.”
Choice. Choose. Words that had no meaning. She was already considered on the shelf, and it would no doubt take years to put this incident behind her, for another gentleman to gaze on her and think her worthy. She would be far older, and perhaps wiser. Perhaps not.
She’d misjudged Fitzwilliam. What if she was wrong about Sebastian? They’d been friends once. Could they be more?
If not, would friendship be enough for her? For them both?
“I fear we know so little about each other anymore. What if we don’t suit?”
“I should think the kiss in the garden indicated that we will be well suited to each other.”
“That was only the physical. I need more. I need your heart.”
His jaw clenched. “I can’t promise you that.”
She released a sad laugh. “At least you’re honest. But what if one day you do meet a woman who steals your heart?”
“Do you honestly think a woman will look at what I’ve become and love me?”
She had to believe that, had to believe there was something in him worth loving. “Yes.”
He laughed harshly. “You’re blinder than I.” He cupped her chin. “What choice do you truly have? Your reputation is in tatters. What sort of life will you have when you return to your father’s estate? And when he dies, who will watch over you?”
“I can watch over myself. I could become a governess or a nurse. I could take my dowry and invest it. Find a small cottage.”Live out my life in loneliness, with no children, no love.
“I owe you,” he said quietly, “more than I can ever repay. I will be as good a husband to you as my father was to my mother. I will never stray. I will never beat you. I will give you a generous allowance.”
They’d been friends once. She knew his childish heart had belonged to her. She refused to believe that she couldn’t possess his adult heart as well. She took a deep breath, released it, and hoped she would not live to regret the words. “Yes, I’ll marry you.”
Once again he slipped his hand into his pocket, only this time he withdrew it to reveal the dangling emerald.
With a soft smile, she took it from him. “I hated sending it back to you, you know.”
“Then why did you?”
“Because Fitzwilliam asked.” Demanded. But he didn’t need to know that. “Would you have returned it if I’d said no to your proposal?”
“Of course.”
Licking her lips, she watched as his gaze dropped to her mouth. She wondered if he would kiss her.
Instead he said, “Well, I suppose I should see to getting a license.”
“Yes, I suppose you should.”
Chapter 21
As Mary waited in a private room at St. George’s, she wondered if she should be this calm. She almost felt nothing at all.
“I wish your mother were here to see you,” Aunt Sophie said as she adjusted the veil one more time. She alternated between fiddling with the veil and the train, as though each time Mary moved didn’t undo what had just been done. She wanted to tell her aunt to just leave everything alone until the last moment. Instead Mary tolerated her fluttering, drew reassurance from it.
