Page 100 of Texas Destiny
He watched her eat, this woman he’d married, this woman who wasn’t fully his wife. She had been as skittish as a newborn filly on their wedding night. He’d decided to take her for a walk, hoping to help her relax. Instead, he’d lost her.
Or maybe he’d just failed to acknowledge that he’d never had her.
When he’d confronted Houston with his accusations weeks ago, he’d convinced himself that Houston had felt nothing more than lust for Amelia. He’d closed his mind to the possibility that Houston might have fallen deeply in love with Amelia.
That she might have fallen deeply in love with Houston.
He had measured their love against what he knew of love … which was nothing at all. He understood loyalty, honor, and the value of keeping one’s word.
Regardless of his feelings for her, Houston had never claimed Amelia. For whatever reason, he had held his silence as she and Dallas had exchanged vows. And with his silence, he had for-saken Amelia and given his own vow to forever hold his peace.
Amelia handed the empty bowl back to Dallas, her brow furrowed so deeply that he thought her face would always reflect the strain of the past few days. “Thank you.”
He unfolded his body. “I’m going to step outside for some fresh air. Holler if you need me.”
He set the bowl on the table, crossed the room, opened the door, and stepped into the night. He’d never felt so damn useless in his entire life. At least when Houston had been wounded during the war, Dallas had been able to take some action, he’d been able to do something.
He bowed his head. For thirteen years, he’d been fighting the guilt, never knowing if the decision he’d made that fateful night had been the right one. Every time he looked at Houston, he was reminded of the actions he’d taken and questioned his own motives for doing what he had done.
Dallas had always assumed Houston was self-conscious about his disfigurement, had distanced himself from Dallas because Dallas had kept his word. He hadn’t let him die.
Now, he wondered if whatever demons had forced Houston off his horse to face those outlaws alone were also responsible for his preferring solitude over the company of others.
From his pocket, Dallas removed the watch Amelia had given him, held it to his ear, and shook it vigorously. He could hear the water swirling inside. He couldn’t repair the token of her affection, he couldn’t force Houston to claim her, but he could do all in his power to love her as she should be loved.
Deep, gut-wrenching sobs interrupted Dallas’s thoughts. He walked to the edge of the porch and glanced around the side of the house.
Austin sat on the ground, his arms folded over his drawn-up knees, his head resting on his arms, his shoulders shaking with the force of his grief.
Dallas had never seen a man cry. His father had raised him to believe that tears were the domain of women, certainly not something a man ever let slide down his face. Awkward and out of his element, he approached Austin. “Austin?”
Austin jerked his head up. In the moonlight, Dallas could see tears streaming along Austin’s cheeks, pooling around his mouth.
“Houston is gonna die, ain’t he?”
Dallas dropped to his haunches. “I doubt it. He doesn’t like to get on Amelia’s bad side, and he’d certainly do that if he died.”
Roughly, Austin rubbed his hand beneath his nose. “It’s my fault.”
“Don’t go thinking that.”
Austin scrambled to his feet. “But it’s true. If you look through those horses you brought back, you’ll find Houston’s stallion. They stole him from me.”
Dallas slowly brought himself to his feet. “But you said—”
“I lied! They snuck up on me, and I was ashamed that I let them do it, that I didn’t try and
stop them from taking the horse. If I’d a-told the truth—”
“Stop it!” Dallas roared. “Stop it. You don’t know what would have happened if you’d told the truth. It might have made no difference at all.” He held up a hand to stop his brother’s protest. “I’m not gonna say that you should have lied because, by God, you should have told us the truth. But you can’t let what happened eat at you. It’s done.” He sliced his hand through the air. “It’s done.”
Just like his marriage to Amelia. It was done.
Austin sniffed. “Shouldn’t you punish me or something?”
Dallas shook his head. “You’re nearly a man now. No man goes through life doing everything right. A man who wallows in his mistakes is destined to have a miserable life. Learn from what you did and become a better man because of it.”
Austin straightened his shoulders. “I will. I won’t let you or Houston down again.”
