Page 59 of A Tempest of Desire
“I don’t think we’d suit.” To have him for only a little while when she wanted him forever. Had she known that becoming Hollie’s mistress would have prevented her from having Langdon into eternity, she wouldn’t have become a mistress. But had she never become a mistress, she’d have never met him. Oh, the ironies of life. “As for when the time comes, it’s now, Hollie.”
With a brisk nod, he finally lowered himself to the chair. “I really did want to get to you before the announcement appeared. Her family was quick to see it done. I suppose they wanted to ensure I didn’t back out, or if I did, they could sue me. As for your inquiry”—he gave her a wry smile—“she’s very timid, my Effie.”
The depth of affection surrounding the name took Marlowe by surprise. She’d no idea that Hollie could feel so strongly about anything. “You love her.”
He nodded. “I have for years. She is so lovely, Marlowe, and she comes with a substantial dowry. Not that I care about the dowry, but I knew it would mean competition for her hand. At first, I had to patiently wait for her coming out, which occurred two years ago. Far more handsome chaps than I were calling on her.”
“There’s nothing amiss with your features, Hollie. Why should looks matter anyway?”
“Easy enough for a beautiful woman to say.”
“I believe I’m going to have a few scars, but I think they add character. So she’s pretty, has agood dowry, and is timid. What else do you like about her?”
“She’s kind, sweet.” He studied her a moment. “I assume you were angry when you saw the announcement.”
“Not angry. Surprised you hadn’t told me about her.” And a bit hurt.
“It seemed in bad form to discuss the woman I love with my mistress.”
“But I always thought we were friends of a sort. Weren’t we?”
“Yes. Which I suppose is the reason you aren’t currently throwing things at me.”
“Have you ever known me to throw something?”
He shook his head. “Although I do think you’re a bit hasty in being done with me.”
“It would prove awkward if we tried to carry on as we had been. You have someone now to whom you should owe your allegiance.”
Letting that hang in the air between them for a minute, she wondered if he regretted having taught her how a woman could have power in a relationship. Not with all the sexual ploys she knew some mistresses used, but with a steel spine and steadfast gaze. She’d taken control from the beginning, vowing aloud that she wouldn’t be the cause of his betrayal to a pledge. At the time, she’d meant a marriage oath but before the storm had tossed her about like a child’s toy, she’d come to the conclusion that a betrothal was a commitment that meant just as much. At least to her.
And he’d shown her that her feelings were as important as his.
Eventually our time together will come to an end, and I don’t want to worry that some gent is taking advantage of your good humor,he’d told her in the beginning.When you leave me, you will do so with power to wield. You will be a queen, in a position to select your own lover. He will bend the knee, grateful to have been chosen as your consort.
Hollie had always been flamboyant with his goals, and she suspected the timid Lady Euphemia would one day have more confidence and daring than most of the ladies of theton.
“You learned your lessons well,” he said with a bit of pique, and she suspected he’d been trying to get to London before the announcement landed on her doorstep because he was hoping for one more coming together. She might have gifted him with it if she hadn’t fallen in love with Langdon.
That thought struck her so hard that she nearly doubled over. She did love him. It was the reason she couldn’t be his mistress, the reason giving him over to another woman would tear her apart—and needle and thread would not repair the damage.
She realized those feelings were going to create a problem for her. He’d spoiled her, ruining not only Hollie, but any other man for her.
“I had a good teacher,” she teased, determined not to let Hollie discern how much she was hurting. “When are you marrying?”
“December. She wants a Christmas wedding. I shall, of course, continue to pay the lease on this residence until the end of the Season. That should grant you plenty of time to find a replacement for me.”
“No one could ever replace you, Hollie.”
“That’s kind of you to say, but then you always were kind, Marlowe. You were good for my pride. That I should have a beauty such as you...”
While she’d always suspected he’d valued her appearance above all else, she now had it confirmed.You are more than your beauty, Langdon had told her. And he’d made her feel whole, as though all of her mattered.
“I wish you every happiness, Hollie.”
“You’re not quite done with me, Marlowe. I intend to escort you about and ensure all these randy gents know you are still under my protection and guidance.” He twisted his mouth. “We’ll be a little more discreet, however, as I shouldn’t like to make the gossip columns.”
She didn’t bother to ask if he’d introduce her to Euphemia, because she was aware that sort of thing simply wasn’t done. She realized far too much of his life hadn’t involved her. Living on the periphery was a price a mistress paid. It hadn’t seemed so high with Hollie, but with Langdon—
