Page 10 of His Captive
“I like what I see,” I say, biting my tongue as soon as the words leave my lips. I shouldn’t have said that, even if it’s true. Even if something I never thought I’d feel again is simmering below the surface. “Tell me more about yourself,bambina. You said your grandmother raised you?”
“Y-yeah,” she answers, fidgeting with the napkin in her lap. “My mom got pregnant when she was really young. My dad—he didn’t want kids. Well, that’s what he said back then, but now I’ve got two brothers and a sister I’ve never even met.”
“He abandoned your mom? And you?” My jaw tenses angrily. I despise men who walk out on their families.
“Sorta,” she replies. “My mom left me with him. He left me with my grandmother. Grandma was pretty angry about it, based on what I’ve heard. She told him if he left, not to ever bother coming back, because she didn’t raise him like that. They never spoke again. He didn’t even come to her funeral.”
“Damn,” I sigh, taking a sip of my wine. “Maybe it was for the best, hmm? Your grandmother raised a fine young woman. I’m sure she did a much better job than he would have done, if he didn’t even care enough to look after you when you needed him most.”
“Yes, my grandmother was amazing,” Lea says, a hint of a smile appearing on the edges of her lips before quickly disappearing. “I never felt like I was missing out on anything, even though it was just the two of us. She made everything fun.”
“I can tell you miss her.” I lean back slightly. “It’s normal to feel directionless after you lose someone close to you.”
A twinge of pain radiates inside me. I know exactly how that feels. Being directionless and lost. Like the world forgot all about your happiness, or karma finally came, holding the Grim Reaper’s scythe, except it isn’t your soul being reaped.
“Is that how you felt?” she asks. “After your wife…”
I wasn’t planning on talking about her tonight. That wound has never fully healed. It’s so easy to rip open. So quick to bleed. But I won’t hide from it. Layla’s memory means too much for me to sweep it under the rug and pretend she never mattered. She was everything to me.
“Yes,” I admit, lifting my wine to my lips and flooding my mouth with the sweetness. “Still do, most of the time. Some days are harder than others.”
I can’t hide the pain when I talk about Layla. I can feel the pressure along the sides of my eyes that mingles with the tightness in my throat, tensing my entire face. Lea seems to notice. She swallows hard, looks down, and fidgets with her napkin before reaching for her wine. I’m blowing it. Maybe that’s for the best. Maybe there’s too much pain left for me to sit across the table from a beautiful woman and have a normal conversation.
“I’m sorry,” Lea whispers, downing enough wine for me to fill her glass again. “I’m sure you don’t want to talk about that.”
“No, I’d rather talk about you,” I sigh. I need to turn this around before she’s as miserable as I am. “What were you doing before you lost your direction,bambina? Going to school? Working?”
Lea begins to answer, but then Monica walks up to our table and clicks her pen as she introduces herself to my date. Lea and I haven’t even looked at the menu yet. I sigh and pick it up, motioning for Lea to do the same.
“Oh, this menu is in Italian,” Lea says apprehensively. “I don’t…”
“Don’t worry, most people who come here don’t speak Italian,” Monica says, nibbling her bottom lip. “Tell me what you like and I’ll try to match it up with something on the menu.”
I speak Italian and could translate everything, but Lea seems content with Monica’s offer, so I let them converse. Layla used to like for me to choose something for her, and I almost did it out of instinct.
“No clams. No seafood at all,” Lea states. “And no red sauce. I got sick on the boat earlier.”
With Monica’s assistance, Lea chooses a chicken and pasta dish. The most neutral thing on the menu. Probably a good choice since she mentioned her stomach is still bothering her. I’d normally choose seafood since everything is fresh and caught daily by the locals, but the smell might not be pleasant for Lea, so I settle forcotoletta di vitello—veal parmigiana, with a side of broccoli and sweet cherry peppers. After Monica walks away from the table, I turn my attention back to Lea.
“I believe you were about to tell me what you were doing before you lost your direction,” I say, sipping my wine again.
“Right,” Lea sighs. “I guess it isn’t fair to say I lost my direction entirely after my grandmother passed. I was already spinning in the wind and unsure what I wanted to do with my life. I started college, but didn’t like my major, so I dropped out and got a job. A really terrible job that I hated even worse than school. Then my grandmother got sick, and I had to take care of her for a while.”
“Admirable,” I remark. “Family is important.”
Or it should be. I was raised to value family above everything else. The lesson must not have resonated with my brother like it did with me, considering that he’s decided I’m in the way of what he wants.
“Yeah,” Lea agrees, but she starts fidgeting with her napkin again.
Uncomfortable silence. I’m not sure what else to say. She opened up about her grandmother, but there’s still so much hesitation in her eyes. I thought it was nerves, but there’s something else lingering below the surface. What could it be? She seemed so different on the boat, even when she was sick. It’s probably me. I used to be able to keep a conversation going with no effort at all. There’s so much I want to know about Lea. I want to knoweverything. But that’s complicated, because conversations go both ways, and there’s so much I can’t share.
“The weather is supposed to be great while we’re here,” I say absently, trying to fill the uncomfortable silence.
“Really? That’s good,” she responds, dragging her wineglass closer and letting it sit in front of her.
“Are you doing anything fun away from the resort while you’re here?” I ask. “If you’re feeling up to it, of course.”
“Yeah,” she answers and it looks like she doesn’t want to elaborate, but when the silence lingers, she continues. “I-I’m supposed to go on an excursion tomorrow to see the ruins and all the statues.”
