Page 12 of SEAL's Spitfire
“Can’t say that I have.”
“It’s the feeling you get when something is odd, makes you shiver or gives you the weird feeling in your tummy. Makes your hair stand up and goosebumps pop out.”
“Ah yes. When I get that it usually means a shit show is about to break out. Not pretty.”
“I’d say not.”
“So, what are you worrying about?”
“I was thinking about my brother. He’s living his dream but now it may take his life.”
Rafe nodded and averted his eyes. Did he know something? Had he heard something? He said he couldn’t look into it, but what if he had? What if he already had bad news for her? Panic started to set in, her lungs weren’t working, she tried to inhale, but no air filled her lungs. Sweat dotted her forehead, and she grabbed her chest, trying to make her lungs work. Terrified she was going to suffocate, she bent at the waist and hoped it would help.
Rafe must have seen her distress and he pulled her into his lap. With his large hands on either side of her face, he made sure she was looking at him. “Spitfire, focus. Breathe in, slowly. Now breathe out. Slowly. Put your hands on my chest and follow my lead.”
Slowly her panic eased, she wasn’t going to die. In and out, taking each breath with Rafe.
“There you go. Feel better?”
“A little. Thank you. I was… I couldn’t breathe, I thought I was going to die.”
“Do you have panic attacks often?”
“Is that what it was? Then no. This is the first and I hope to God my last. I don’t think I could take another one.”
Rafe smiled gently. “I don’t blame you. I’ve never had one, but I’ve witnessed way too many.”
“I guess I have an overactive imagination. When you looked away when we were talking about Charlie it made me think you knew something. Something horrible…”
Rafe’s eyebrows lifted in surprise. “You are extremely observant.”
“Yes, we’ve discussed this. Remember? You’re stalling. It means you do know something. You have to tell me, whatever it is.” It’s also when she realized she was sitting in his lap. She didn’t remember how she got there but it wasn’t a bad place to be. Did she want to stay there depending on what he had to say? She couldn’t decide if she was mad at him or not for holding back information. From the little he’d said, and what she surmised from her observations, he was all about comfort and help. Getting mad at him for trying to protect her wasn’t really fair but neither was hiding information about Charlie.
Rafe pulled his hands away from her shoulders where they’d moved to as she calmed down. She wanted to tell him to keep them there, but she didn’t. She would be brave no matter what he had to say. It was time to move back to her seat, as comforting as her present location was, she needed some distance.
“I’m sorry. My intention was to tell you when we landed. You were finally relaxed. I thought you needed some down time before you walked into the Lion’s Den at home.”
“It wasn’t your right…”
“I know. But it’s not official information either. It’s from an exceptionally talented friend who knows his way around computers like most people know the alphabet.”
“Please, just spit it out. I need to know. Is he dead?”
“No. At least we don’t think so. But you were right, his group has been kidnapped. As of zero two thirty, no ransom demand had been made.”
“Thank God. Why wouldn’t you tell me that? It’s good news.”
“Good? I figured getting confirmation that he had been kidnapped would be devastating. Until then you still could hold on to the hope that it hadn’t been him.”
“Maybe, but that’s not how my mind works. To me knowing is half the battle. Now I need to formulate a plan to get him back. Get them all back.”
“Wait. You are a civilian. You can’t just go over there on a one-woman rescue mission. You have to leave it to the people who do this for a living. People like me.”
“Really? What are the odds they’ll send you for a bunch of missionaries? ISIS and the Taliban have killed how many people? How many people are rescued if they’re not deemed important by the government?” It wasn’t fair, and definitely not something he could control but it felt good to be angry instead of devastated.
“Shhh, you’ll wake the others. I understand how upset you are. I do.”
“How could you know? Has someone in your family been kidnapped?” She was definitely being unfair, and her voice got louder as her anger escalated. Was this a reverse panic attack? These mood swings were not normal for her.
