Page 28 of A Soldier's Destiny
Chapter 10
“I’m sorry.”
“Again, you have nothing to be sorry for, sweetheart. You were an innocent in the wrong place at the wrong time. As were your parents and Jim. Trust me, I’ve seen it happen in more places than you’d believe. The world is changing. So much hatred.”
“I know, but...”
“Shh, no buts.”
Wrapped in his arms, she finally stopped shivering. Not that she was cold, it was struggling to hold back the tears. She’d forgotten about the TV interview and phone calls. How could she have forgotten? Especially whenthatnight was crystal clear with every detail permanently etched in her memory.
The pounding of his heart beneath her ear helped to ease her tears. As she concentrated on the steady rhythm, she took a few deep breaths, and the tears gradually subsided.
“Better now?” Jasper asked as he kept her cocooned in his embrace. It was like being wrapped in a big warm blanket. Her eyes were getting heavy, and she yawned.
“Yes, just tired.”
“I’m sorry I made you dredge up all those memories. But it was the only way to try to figure this out.”
“I know. I really do. But it’s much easier to try to keep it all buried. Or at least a lot less painful.”
“But locking it all away is the worst thing you could do. You need to give yourself permission to heal, to live again. I don’t know about Jim, but I can guarantee your parents wouldn’t want you feeling guilty.”
“You’re right. Neither would Jim. He was so full of life.”
“That reminds me. What was Jim’s full name?”
“James Marshall, the third I think. I might have that number wrong. It could be the fourth. He didn’t use it often. He wanted as much distance from his family as possible.”
“You mentioned the family business. Do you know what it was?”
“It’s a law firm, been around for ages, but I don’t know any details since he wouldn’t talk about it. I thought it was weird at first, but then we were so happy it didn’t matter. I never even met them.”
He pulled out his phone and typed something, but she was too tired to even try to see what he’d written. Then he stood with her in his arms.
“Hey, put me down. What are you doing?”
“Taking you to bed.”
“I can walk.”
“Yes, I know you can, but humor me. I’m not going to take advantage of you. We already went over that.”
The desire to stand up for herself and demand he put her down, was not as strong as the desire to stay in his arms. He’d picked her size fourteen body up without any effort at all. Made her feel light as a feather as he carried her to her room. Snuggling closer, she sighed with contentment. This was probably a mistake, but she didn’t have the energy to care.
Once they got to her room, he gently put her down. “I’m going to make sure we’re all locked up and clear up the rest of the dishes. I’ll be back to check on you.” Then he dropped a soft kiss on her forehead and left her alone. The kiss was nothing like the passionate ones earlier, and a pang of disappointment squeezed her heart.
“Okay.” She changed into her PJs, brushed her teeth, and had just climbed into bed when he returned.
“I brought some water in case you get thirsty.”
“Thank you, that is very sweet.” His eyes met hers, and she wondered what he was thinking. What would he say if she asked him to stay with her? Would he make love to her? He said she could set the pace, but after seeing her red blotchy face in the bathroom mirror, she couldn’t believe anyone would want her.
“I’m sorry I upset you. I hope you can get some sleep. I’ll see you in the morning, Angel.” His lips met hers in a brief kiss but as he straightened she grabbed his hand.
“Could you stay? At least until I fall asleep.”
“Of course.” He sat on the edge of the bed and took off his sneakers. Then he stretched out on top of the covers and pulled her against his side. She turned toward him and rested her head on his chest, the thud of his heartbeat helped her relax.
