Page 34 of SEAL's Providence
There’d been too much of everything for the last week. From finding out Tony wanted her to be his, then the adrenalin boost when she believed theymight rescue everyone tonight, topped off by working her ass off dealing with the stomach flu epidemic on base.
Providence had been foolish thinking they could rush in there and grab the women. If nothing else proved she needed to stay in her lane, tonight did. Practicing medicine was her thing, and she was damn good at it. But she needed to leave rescues to the people who knew what the hell they were doing.
“We’re here,” Tony said quietly.
“Oh. Yeah. Thank you for tonight and keeping me from screwing this up. Will you let me know when you get any updates?” Proud that she didn’t sound as devastated as she felt, she even attempted a smile. From the look on his face, she hadn’t succeeded.
“Will you invite me in, sweetheart?” His voice continued to be soothing and gentle. Like he could see inside her head and knew how distraught she was.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” She wasn’t in a good place, going between feeling numb and on fire. It hurt to have anything touch her.
“You’re hurting, baby. Let me make sure you’re okay. That’s all. If you want me to leave after you’re settled, I will.”
His face was in shadows, making his expressionunreadable. Earlier, she’d agreed to trust him, and not just the rescue mission. He’d meant with everything. She’d agreed, but hadn’t expected to feel shell-shocked after their excursion. It wasn’t Tony’s fault—none of this was—and definitely not that she felt like she needed to crawl out of her skin.
“Providence?” He cupped her cheek in his hand. “Let me help. I know today was a lot.”
Unable to bring herself to answer, she nodded. Hopefully she’d feel better after a good night’s sleep, if she could get one. Sleepless nights were her norm lately. Too much stress and no outlet had dragged her out of her happy place. But who wouldn’t have felt the same way in her shoes?
Tony opened the door and helped her out of the Jeep. When he took her hand, his touch soothed some of the numbness. He led them to the front door and inside her house.
“Why don’t you go get comfortable, and I’ll make you some tea. Unless you want something stronger?”
“Stronger sounds wonderful, but I’ll take the tea. Thank you.”
“You don’t have to thank me.” He smiled and squeezed her hand before letting go. “It’s all part of the service, ma’am.”
She nodded but couldn’t bring herself to returnhis smile. He was worried about her, but she didn’t know how to make it better. “I’ll be right back. Make yourself at home.” Providence gestured toward the living room, then headed upstairs to her bedroom.
After making a beeline for the master bath, she tore off her clothes and dropped them in the hamper. As she turned to start the water, she glimpsed herself in the mirror and was horrified. No wonder Tony had been so gentle. The dark circles and red-rimmed eyes made her look like death warmed over.Mercy.
He probably thought she’d keel over any second. It could happen. The shakiness worried her. The muscles in her legs quivered with exhaustion and she grabbed onto the edge of the vanity to steady herself. Maybe the bug had finally gotten her? It couldn’t have happened at a worse time.
Gah. Hopefully the hot water would help. Reaching into the shower, she adjusted the temperature before stepping inside. The shock of the hot water made her flinch until she acclimated to the heat and her muscles began to relax. Grabbing her favorite peach body wash, she soaped and rinsed off. Knowing that Tony was waiting for her, she decided not to wash her hair. A longer shower probably would have helped to pull her out of the numbstupor, but she didn’t want to leave him alone downstairs.
After drying off, Providence wrapped herself in a towel and opened the door. The cooler bedroom air chased away the steamy warmth of the bathroom. Shivering, she hurried to her walk-in closet, and grabbed the most comfortable clothes she had. A pair of panties, pink yoga pants, and a matching sweatshirt. The clothes helped, but her feet were freezing. Finding a pair of socks that matched, she pulled them on her feet. “Thank God. That’s so much better,” she mumbled.
Another glance in the mirror had her reaching for her brush. A lot of her hair had fallen out of the elastic for her high ponytail. As she brushed it out, she was happy to see some color returning to her cheeks. She still didn’t feel like herself and the dark circles were still there. It would probably take a week straight of nothing but sleep to fix those.
The numbness freaked her out, and she didn’t know how to fix it. Contemplating the last few hours, she wanted to cry, but no tears would come. Fuck it. She’d been up in her room trying to figure shit out, but she’d left Tony all alone. Taking a deep breath, she silently made her way downstairs in search of Tony.
Providence stopped at the bottom of the stairs and heard the television. She’d certainly taken long enough for him to make the tea and get comfortable in her living room.
“Hi,” she said hesitantly as she entered the room.
He popped up from the couch and wrapped her in his soothing embrace. It felt so good she almost moaned.
“I’m sorry I took so long.”
“No worries, sweetheart. Your tea is probably the perfect drinking temperature now.” He pulled her over to the sofa. After waiting until she got comfortable, he handed her a mug of tea, and sat down next to her.
“Thank you. But didn’t you make something for yourself?” Then she saw the glass of iced tea on the coffee table. “Iced? Aren’t you cold?”
“It’s not cold, darlin’.”
Even after the heat of the shower, she still trembled with a bone-deep chill. If she was a patient, she’d have diagnosed herself with shock. But what had triggered it? Nothing horrible had happened tonight, other than she couldn’t get out of her own head.
Tony grabbed the crocheted blanket off the back of the couch and draped it over her lap. “Better?”
